Do Attractive Girls Get More Love?
Questioner: Sir, do attractive girls actually get more love?
Acharya Prashant: Do attractive girls actually get more love?
Questioner: I know they get more of my attention.
Acharya Prashant: I mean that sums it up, that's what they get in plenty, that's what they get more off.
Questioner: Attention.
Acharya Prashant: Sexual Attention! Sexual attention! I don't know from where one can learn that attractive girls get more love? But then I don't want to dismiss this question as frivolous because, yeah, surely a lot of attractive girls try to keep themselves attractive, and even more attractive, in the hope of getting more love.
Questioner: Absolutely, absolutely. It's the most, what do you have to do the first thing, it’s like that.
Acharya Prashant: That's tragic, that's very tragic. Somebody needs to shout it out, very loudly in the ears.“ I heard your physical attractiveness does not get you love!” Be it a man or a woman. It's something so fundamental, so fundamental. It's obvious, if you are physically attractive, the other will feel a physical attraction. Where does Love come into the equation? Unless you want to equate love with physical attraction. Now, love is obviously a different beast altogether. But now I think the question ought to be, “Is there even some kind of similarity or overlap between love and physical attraction? No ma'am, none at all. Zero! Perfectly zero! Perfectly zero!
In fact, in some sense, physical attraction crowds out even the possibility of love, it precludes love. What I'm saying is, a man could potentially be really loving, but that love, he would find it more difficult to have towards someone who is physically attractive, because in that case the physical attractiveness would overpower everything else, including love. So, forget about physical attraction being synonyms to love, being a carrier of love. Physical attraction actually crowds out love. So, where there is this relationship of mutual physical attraction, love becomes all the more difficult, all the more difficult! So, in this light the expectation that your physical contours would fetch you love is just so juvenile, so misplaced and so tragic.
Questioner: It's basically the opposite.
Acharya Prashant: It's basically the opposite. If somebody is coming to you because of the body one thing you can be certain of?
Questioner: It's not love.
Acharya Prashant: He can't be loving towards you. He could be anything
Questioner: But not loving.
Acharya Prashant: Not a lover. And he could bring anything to you and he will bring a lot of things to you. But there is one thing that just, he cannot bring now — Love! Because the fundamental equation is physical. The fundamental equation is so very biological. And love is not a biological thing.
Questioner: Can I say that you will attract the wrong people?
Acharya Prashant: Yes, Yes.
Questioner: If you are attractive, you will attract the wrong people, you will attract those who value your attractiveness.
Acharya Prashant: Yes, well said. Very well said. If you are attractive, then you will attract just the wrong kind of people. So, attractive women have it doubly difficult. But to resist someone who finds you irresistible is difficult.
Questioner: Is very difficult.
Acharya Prashant: The fellow comes to you and says, “You are just great, you're the moon, you're the sea, you're the waves, you're the flowers, you're everything. Beautiful under the sun!” And, then it requires a really wise woman to laugh at such a person in the face.
Questioner: In the face.
Questioner: Ha ha ha.
Acharya Prashant: Then, you know, that's the biggest act of compassion. When a suitor comes to you praising you for your physical beauty, laugh at him in his face. And that's not cruelty.
Questioner: That's compassion.
Acharya Prashant: That's compassion. That's the biggest service you can do to that man! Laugh at him!
Questioner: But, for that you need to have those values.
Acharya Prashant: First of all, you need to have that value, that understanding.
Questioner: That understanding.
Acharya Prashant: That understanding comes from life education, it comes from a spiritual core. Without a spiritual core, your physical attractiveness is such a curse.
Questioner: So, those who are even more attractive, so the advice for all the pretty girls would be — Be spiritual first!
Acharya Prashant: Yeah. If among human beings, there is one segment that needs to urgently look towards Spirituality, it is men and women, who are physically attractive.
Questioner: Attractive.
Acharya Prashant: Because they are threatened all the more.
Questioner: That's a bigger trap.
Acharya Prashant: It's a bigger trap and an inner trap.
Questioner: Just to make sure, Spirituality just means basic self-honesty, self-awareness? It's nothing mystical, magical or that's been associated with it?
Acharya Prashant: Nothing mystical, nothing magical about it. I'm not talking of chanting. I'm not talking of chakra. I'm not talking of flying snakes. I'm not talking of, I don't know.
Questioner: Rudraksh?
Acharya Prashant: Aah, I'm not talking of magical seeds. So, not that, not that. That will not give you any kind of self-awareness.
Self-awareness comes only from honest self-observation. You'll have to look at yourself. You'll have to read the right literature. You'll have to sit with the right people. And you'll have to learn about life, life!
Questioner: So, being pretty, being attractive is not a boon.
Acharya Prashant: It's not a boon, No, No. All that, that makes you think that your prettiness is a boon, is the curse.
Questioner: Is the Curse.
Acharya Prashant: Everything that comes to you by virtue of your physical beauty is something that you must avoid like poison.
Questioner: Because it will entrap you deeper into.
Acharya Prashant: Deeper and deeper. And it will close all doors of inner upliftment or fulfillment. You'll start getting money because you appear sexy and that will put you in such a bad comfort zone that it will become impossible for you to emerge out of it.
