What’s Wrong with a Woman Choosing to Stay at Home?
Questioner: If we stay at home, it's not a bad thing, right?
Acharya Prashant: Dear, it's not about what is good and bad. Here, the point is, what is the purpose? If you can complete that task at your home, you can be at home.
Questioner: But sir, the way…
Acharya Prashant: You are here to attend the class, it's not a bad thing to be at home. Go home! Why are you here? It's not about what is good or bad. The point is, why do you exist? The task at hand right now is to become a doctor. Then why should you sit at home?
Exactly in the same way that you have a purpose to be here at this organization, there is a purpose for you to be alive on this particular planet. It is very clearly understood by all that, since you are at the campus, you are here for some purpose. But we have never been taught about the fact that, since you are on this particular planet, you have to fulfil certain duties.
Then we ask ourselves, what's wrong with sitting at home? You can still go home and relax, nothing's wrong. Then what are we here for?
Now at home, if you are doing something that will make your life beautiful or grant your salvation—then you must sit at home. It's not about sitting at home or not, but you have a better idea of what you do sitting at your home than me.
I mean, those who sit at home—I'm not talking about exceptions. There will always be five exceptions out of a thousand. But those 995 people out of a thousand who are sitting at home—what are they doing? Tell me, what are they doing?
Can't you see that by making them sit at home, what have you done to the consciousness of women? Just watch those advertisements on television, which are made by targeting women only. Those advertisements are created on the assumption that the people we are catering to don't have an IQ of more than 40.
By making women sit at home, we have made them useless and redundant. We told them that their job is to make parathas—and many of them don't even cook parathas these days! Because, with the evolving economy across the world, even that job is done by somebody else. So what are you doing at home exactly?
I will extend my full support to you if you're doing something extraordinary sitting at home. But you people only tell me, very honestly—I don't want to force you into saying something—but what do most people do sitting at home? Please, let me know.
I am with you if you're preparing for an entrance exam sitting at home. But please tell me, what exactly are you doing throughout the day at your home?
Then someone will have to sweep the floor, huh? Someone will need to clean the house? Why do you want to become a doctor? Someone has to be a Ward boy too.
Questioner: For sure.
Acharya Prashant: Then become a Ward boy! Why are you here?
Please understand, your target should be to accomplish the most extraordinary task in your life. The one at the bottom should also aim for the highest one. It is illogical to say that being at home means washing clothes. You have a washing machine for that! Why don't you leave it and wash them manually?
All the technologies are available because you can allot your time to all those things that are much more important so that you are able to complete the task of the highest order. That's why you're here. And that's why technology is here.
What's the logic behind staying at home only to cook? Who would talk with you if I was also cooking at home at this particular moment? Sandwiches and samosas were placed before me a while ago. I'm able to talk to you because somebody else made them. If I get involved in making those snacks, then you would assume that I am in the kitchen cooking snacks. Then who would have been here to talk to you? What would be my logic then?
Somebody must prepare snacks, hence I took up that task. I fully agree that somebody has to take up that task. But at least you must put a full-fledged effort to do the task of the highest order. What kind of logic is this—that the only thing I need to do in life is cook and sweep the floor?
"I keep everything clean and tidy at home—that's my purpose!" What is being done? A dusty table is being cleaned with a cloth. The bathroom is being cleaned. If you really think that these are the tasks of the highest order, then you can please continue to do so, I don't want to say anything. Then I have absolutely nothing to say.
You talked about the way children have been brought up. Now tell me something. When you admit your child in a particular school, what is the exact thought behind it? Even if you're admitting him to a playschool—he's very young, he's not even three years old—what are the things that you keep in mind?
You will not randomly admit them anywhere, will you? You take care of a lot of things, don't you? You want to be absolutely sure of the quality of that particular teacher—the one who is going to teach your child. This is what you check, right?
You have come over here because even you want to come up in a particular way. And you are here at AIIMS, whereas there are many other medical colleges. But you have come to AIIMS because the one who is going to teach you is one level better than you. That's why you have chosen this place, right?
If a mother wants to bring up a child, what is the first thing that she should consider? That the mother’s own standards should be high. The mother here is unaware about worldly matters, she is following old traditions—as someone said right now, that her job is just to cook—then how will she bring up her child in a better way?
Every mother thinks that she is giving the best upbringing to her child. Yet, every child turns out the same! This is really funny—that every parent feels they are giving their best to their child, and ironically, every parent feels that the current generation is spoiled. If your upbringing is so good, then why is the current generation so bad? Can't you see that you're the reason behind it?
(Praises)
And the reason behind this generation getting spoiled is the parents who call themselves the first gurus, their own assumptions—they are actually pretty ordinary. Mothers have a great impact on their children. If the mother's personality is defective, if the mother herself is not enlightened, then she cannot give a good upbringing to her child. A child doesn't need to be with his mother 24 hours a day for better upbringing.
They normally say, "Who will look after the child if the mother is away?" What do you mean by looking after? The child is happier when the mom is away from home! The child doesn't want to be looked after. The child has a problem—and that is your over-cautious approach. When you're looking after the child, what exactly are you doing?
When you're with your child, you are forcing all your prejudices on your child. You are forcing all your scrambled, useless, and illogical thoughts on your child. Is this really going to be good for your child? Come on, let me know.
Now, you tell me—if parents are giving the best upbringing to their children, why is our society in the state it is right now? But parents are very proud of their upbringing. They find absolutely no fault in themselves. "We just want to bring up our children!" How can you give a good upbringing to our children without rectifying yourself?
But there will be a dent in their ego if they accept that they have a problem within themselves. So, we maintain that we are all right. The Child needs to be rectified. Now, that's the problem. You being "all right" is a problem. And how did this happen?
If you would have been right, why would this problem arise? No, the problem was with the neighbor, and he spoiled him. Uh, very mature mother, only she can take her children to some really great heights. And the funny thing is that when a person really becomes mature, he realizes that the motive of life is not only to give birth to children. And the most unfortunate thing is that the more people are confused, the more they think that they are here to expand their family. Things become worse over there.
See, I have nothing against household chores, all right? In fact, I myself do a lot of chores, especially during the lockdown. We have a big Bodh Sthal, and no outsiders used to come over there. I was equally helping my other teammates in the chores. I've done everything, but I'm aware as to which task in life is important and how much. And even you are aware of it, but I can't help it if you don't want to believe it.
If all the tasks were of equal importance, then what would you call progress? Tell me. Now, it's a different thing that you do a particular task with full commitment when assigned to you. That's absolutely fine with me, but that doesn't mean that every task is of the same order.
Suppose you are the 12th man on the cricket ground. The only thing left to you is to take drinks on the ground and stay committed to it. Or if the batsman who's playing on the ground has asked you to replace his bat, and you carry that bat for him. Or a situation may arise where a player gets out. Assume that he is out on zero, but he becomes a runner. You know what's a runner, right? When a batsman is injured. Runners used to be common in the earlier days, but nowadays, there are a lot of restrictions. But did you learn to play cricket just to become a runner?
This is just a coincidence that, at this moment, I have to carry the drinks, and that's what I'll do with commitment. If I have to become a runner at this moment, I will do that job with commitment. But you also need to consider one thing—that your job is to bat in the middle, you're not in the team for being a runner. And if you're just a runner, your mind should be conscious of the fact that you don't need to be stagnant, you have to move on. I have to go in the middle, how long will I serve drinks and tea to the players?
