To Give Birth is to Take Debt

Acharya Prashant: Parents have first of all committed the mistake of bringing another person into this world of agony, longing, and suffering that they compensate for by investing themselves in raising the kid. That is why it is imperative for parents to bring education to the kids, give food to the kids, and spend money on the kids. It is a compensation.

Have you seen how much of the parents’ time, especially the mother’s time, gets spent on the kid? It has to be done; it is a thing of justice. It is not a favor to the kid; the parents owe it to the kid. And the kid is very justified in asking, “Did I really plead to you to bring me into this world? Did I send a formal application? You, in your moment of personal wisdom and planned indiscretion, or unplanned lust, gave birth to me. Now, I sue you. Now, I demand damages.”

And all the money that gets spent on the kid is actually compensation—compensation for that moment of indiscretion. It could be a conscious indiscretion, by way of a planned birth, or it could be an unconscious indiscretion, when you say, “Oh, the child just came; we didn’t plan it.” Whether conscious or unconscious, the fact is that it is an indiscretion. Because it is an indiscretion, so you pay for it.

Now you know why you have to pay so much for the kid’s school fees: it is a fine. It is a fine that you are paying. You are being penalized by existence. Now you know why the mother has to carry the kid for nine months: the mother is being severely penalized. What made you go so blind in emotion or in lust that you allowed yourself to get pregnant? Now, pay the fine. Now a shrieking, screeching thing will come into the world. Pay the fine. It begins by paying the hospital fees. No kid gets born without the hospital charges being paid. Does that not tell you that the whole thing starts as some kind of a penalty?

See, after you fight with someone, you are carried away to the hospital. You know that something wrong has happened; that’s why you have been brought to the hospital. And when you get pregnant, you are taken to the hospital. Don’t you see the parallel? And every kid must ask this.

Therefore, giving the best environment to the kid to rid him of all body and social identification is the minimum that the parents can do for him. The parents have given the kid the cage that the body is. The body is a cage, and as the kid grows up, there is much more to engage him. And it is not merely a mistake, it is actually a crime. There was nobody to suffer, and you unnecessarily brought suffering to the world. Now the minimum you can do is, liberate him; give him conditions that would enable his liberation.

And that is the role, the dharmā of parents: give the kid conditions that would enable his liberation. I repeat this is not a favor that the parents do to the child; it is their obligation. And if you cannot meet this obligation, then you are committing a double crime. The first is to give birth; the second is to give birth without having the credentials to act as worthy parents.

Let all parents remember this. The day the child is born, he is born as someone to whom you are deeply indebted. You have to clear the debt. It is not the child who is indebted; the parents must be very clear on who the debtor is. Classically, it has been said that the child owes a lot to the parents—maatr-rin (maternal loan), pitr-rin (paternal loan). The fact is totally different: the parents owe a lot to the child.

So, be very cautious while giving birth. When you are giving birth, you are actually giving birth to a big debt, a humongous debt, and you will have to settle that debt. Otherwise, you won’t be able to settle in peace.

Full article link: https://acharyaprashant.org/en/articles/parents-apologise-to-your-children-1_a651821

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