Should You Trust Your Feelings?
Questioner: Nowadays, whenever I feel that I should not do something, I don't do it. I'm not planning much, and this includes me not offering prayers to God. Is this okay?
Acharya Prashant: Arun (Questioner), that which we call a feeling is not really so internal that it deserves to be heartfully followed. You're saying, these days you don't offer prayers to God when you don't feel like it. These days you don't bow down to God. I don't know much about that, but what is certain is that you do bow down to feelings . So, you might not be offering prayers to God, but you are praying to feelings .
Who is God? The one worthy of being surrendered to. If you choose to be dictated by the ebb and flow of feelings, emotions, instincts, and intuitions, then feelings are your God . You might even feel like playing, some other time in a different mood, and then you might indeed pray. Even then, your prayer is subservient to your feelings . You prayed only because you first felt like praying.
If our prayers and our God are secondary to our feelings, then we are praying to no one else but our own petty self—from where all feelings arise.
It's alright to not be dictated by the external, by the outside. But it's not at all alright to allow the same external to guide you by disguising itself as the internal . Your feelings are not really your feelings at all. It is a mistake to be identified with the one who feels.
Where are all your feelings when you're asleep? What happens to one kind of feeling when the mood changes? What happens to even very strong feelings when, in the middle of the surge, you receive a contrary piece of news? What happens to one kind of feeling when another overrides it? Don't you see what these feelings are? The regular madness of the mind. And to make the situation even more pitiable, it is an imported madness —a madness you have needlessly taken upon yourself.
You are taught to feel. You are trained and conditioned to feel—partly by your genes, mostly by the environment you are born and brought up in. The food you eat, the things you come in contact with, the people you stay with, the music you listen to, the TV serials you watch, the religious precepts you follow—all of that comes together as a disjoint, amorphous, incoherent mass called feelings. This mass has no centrality, it is not crystallized; it has no oneness. That is why feelings are desperate, fickle, and often regrettable.
One basic tenet of wisdom: the moment you find feelings surging in your mind, in your body—careful. Pay attention! That is the moment when you lose the game.
That is the moment a shift of center takes place. And you do have some time to respond. It doesn’t happen instantly. It's almost like the rise of water during a high tide—it’s swift but not immediate. You get time; you can watch, adjust. You can recognize: it's the same thing happening again. The same old forces coming together to overpower you. If you identify with the feeling, you'll support it.
The initial surge of energy that a feeling brings is beyond your consciousness; you neither know where it is coming from nor have control over it. It just happens. You see something and, without planning or warning, something just happens within—as if a button has been pushed, as if a raw nerve has been touched—you react. The reaction could be of happiness, jealousy, sadness, excitement, fear—anything.
That initial reaction comes from a tendency so deeply embedded in you that you cannot trace it. It's extremely difficult. So, the enemy will come from an unknown direction. You won't know where he has originated from. It’s dark all around. But the moment he fires the first shot, you’ve located him. The moment you detect the first lump in your throat, the first rush of blood to your ears and cheeks, the trembling hands, or heightened brain activity—you must know the enemy has arrived . Something is rising. Something wants to take control of you. Something wants to overpower and possess you.
Now is the moment. Don’t yield. Don’t support the feeling. Don’t add conscious energy to the unconscious uprising.
I repeat: most of us are helpless when it comes to the initial reaction. That cannot be helped. But the moment it has occurred, you now have a mark on the radar of your consciousness . Now, you must know—you’ve been attacked. Now, attention! Now, care. Now, composure.
A friend is not approaching you—it’s a foe. The smile, the warmth, the deception—don't be taken in. Energy feels lively and offers you a false sense of security and doership. Feelings often come with an upsurge of energy. Don't be deceived. This energy is not going to help you. It will consume you.
In a moment of anger or excitement, you feel bigger than usual. These hands, otherwise ordinary, feel ten times stronger. But don’t be deceived. This is not your friend.
One of the most important marks of a wise man is that he does not live by feelings.
You can call them by any name—they remain the same. Know. Understand. Realize. Melt. Flow. Disappear. That is totally different. That is not the same as feeling.
In deep love, in meditation, your daily troubles are gone. The experience of tension, separation, and division disappears. It is beautiful—but it is not a feeling . Do you get it?
Your emotions, your feelings are not what make you beautiful. It’s a common misperception that emotions make us human. They don't. What is truly precious about life is not an emotion, a feeling, or even an intuition. A bird flying freely is so lost in the flight that it doesn’t really feel anything. The feeler itself has dissolved into the sky. Who would feel?
Love too, if it is real, cannot be felt. In true love, the lovers have merged and disappeared into each other—and thereby into God. Who is left to feel? You have better things to live by, Arun. Live by your heart, live by love, live by beauty. And then, if you don’t offer prayers, it is very much alright—because then, life itself is a prayer.
Questioner: If feelings are not there, then what about Krishna? He had feelings—that’s why he helped Arjuna. Why did he help Arjuna?
Acharya Prashant: But you already know the answer. You're saying Krishna had feelings, therefore he helped Arjuna. Next, you ask, “Why did he help Arjuna?” Why are you asking a question after first asserting the answer?
We are such seers that we know not only Krishna but also the heart of Krishna, the motivation of Krishna, the relationship of Krishna. We have just known it all. Been there, done it. (sarcastically)
Why did Arjuna receive help from Krishna? To know that, just go close to the help itself. The help is by the name of Bhagavad Gītā . Go to the help, understand the help, and then you will also understand the helper and the helped. What was the nature of that help? Know that—and then you will know whether such help can arise out of a feeling or out of something immeasurably more immense .
