Self-help vs Spirituality? Marketer vs Master?

Acharya Prashant (AP): Whenever something important will happen in your life, whenever you will go through a transformation, it will be total. It will affect every aspect of your living. Your relationships will change; your clothes will change; your food will change; your voice will change; your thoughts will change; even your face will change. If you block any of these from changing, then you will block the transformations also.

In fact, that is why the life of the man devoted to Truth is a very dynamic life. To only one thing is he committed – the Truth. Everything else keeps changing; he is not devoted to anything else. He will not say “Oh, you know, I am committed to you”. “I am committed to Truth. So, for some time our lives may get intertwined.”

Have you seen two creepers, like this, they come close, and for a while, they get twisted together and they again part ways? Because both of them are committed not to each other but to the Truth, to life. They are committed to living. So, they are alright. They said “For some time, our ways crossed each other; for some time, we were together; and then after that, we again parted ways. It is fine.” Committed to Truth, you cannot be committed to anything else. And if these two decide that they will remain together, then what will happen? Both of them will die.

Go to any creeper,—you know those plants, right?—the ‘*bel*’ (creeper). And see how it happens with them? There are these flowing waves; they come close, they meet, they intertwine, and then they separate. And then, it is possible that after some more time, they may again come close. Their commitment is to life, to growth. Their commitment is not to each other.

Questioner (Q): Essentially there is a difference that one easily changes from a caterpillar to a butterfly but one goes on to being a caterpillar because they don’t know whether the butterfly will come or the wings will come.

AP: We talked of this – Because you expected the butterfly to remain an elephant.

Q: The one who transitioned and the one who is stuck, what is the essential difference between them?

AP: Both are transitioning. It’s just that one is feeling deeply disappointed. And the other one is simply taking it as it comes. The one has an idea of what it would be after the caterpillar is gone. The idea is ‘the elephant’. The other has no idea; the other simply has faith. The other one says, “Let the caterpillar go. Whatever comes next would be alright. I don’t know what would come next; I have no idea. I have no image of an elephant or an insect or a whale or anything. Let something come.” You expect it to be an elephant, the transition would still happen but now there would be resistance. Now, you will feel as if things are happening against your wish. Life is falling apart. And the cosmic game would still get played as it is played; just that you will suffer. Not that the game will change; the game will continue to be what it is. Within the game, you will be the sufferer.

It’s like you are on a train, and the train is moving. But there is one within the train who is resisting the motion of the train. So, he is running in the opposite direction. Does that mean that he will not reach where the train is carrying him? He too will reach the same place but he will reach defeated, deflated, exhausted, suffering. He too will reach.

And there is another one who is just relaxing on his chair, or sleeping on his berth. He too will reach, just like that. Both will reach but one will reach after passing through hell; the entire journey would be...

Q: Dream of hell.

AP: All hells are dreams; there is no hell. Don’t say ‘dream of hell’; all hells are dreams. Do you think there is hell or heaven somewhere?

Q: What is the difference between self-help and spirituality? How to differentiate one from the other? How to know whether the speaker or the writer is a marketer or a Master?

AP: ‘Self-help and Spirituality’. The only spirituality is to know that there can be no self-help. The greatest arrogance of the ego lies in claiming that it can be of help to itself. The Great Self which you really are, needs no help. And that self which you assume yourselves to be is always in need of help; unfortunately, it (Self) itself becomes the helper also.

Please appreciate this. The wise one, the settled one, the relaxed one feels no need for help. So, there is no question of self-help in his case. There are others who feel the need to be helped. The one who feels the need to be helped, unfortunately, also decides to become his own helper. And that is the whole absurdity and the tragedy of this.

There is nobody who suffers and does not decide to be his own Messiah. You go to anybody who is suffering and you ask him, “What’s wrong?” He will be able to describe. You also ask him, “What would relieve your suffering?” That too he will be able to describe. Now, the question is, if you know so much about your suffering and also the solution to your suffering, why are you still suffering?

But that’s what the suffering is – you think you know. Have you ever met someone who is suffering and says honestly, innocently, “I do not know why I am suffering”? Had you not known, really not known, you would not have been able to suffer either. Suffering is knowledge.

So, everybody who suffers thinks that he knows why he is suffering; the knowledge itself is suffering. And if you know why you are suffering, you also know how to get out of the suffering. So, you remain constantly in suffering. The patient is convinced that he can be his own doctor. He remains perpetually a patient. The ignorant one is convinced that he can be his own master. He remains perpetually in ignorance.

Self-help is the worst crime one can commit upon himself. Spirituality begins the moment you realize that self-help is not possible. The One who will help you is beyond you. You can never be your own helper. That is the beginning and the end of spirituality. Till the time you try, and decide, and make efforts to be your own doctor, you will remain a patient. In fact, this effort itself is the disease. This conviction that you are powerful and smart, and intelligent enough to take care of yourself is itself your burden.

Spirituality is to give up all effort and pretence of self-help. You bow down and you say, “Enough of myself. I am done with myself. No more cleverness. No more trying to guess the ways of the beyond. No more trying to measure up the Truth. No more application of thought in matters that are beyond me.” But we are clever; we are so clever. Just as we choose our physician, we also choose our teacher. And just as we compare physicians, we also compare teachers. Just as we size up physicians, we also size up teachers. All this is self-help. “Let me do what is best for me.” Do you know what is best for you? Seriously?

The more you will try to help yourself, the more you will convince yourself that you can continue in your old ways. Pay attention to this helper; he is the mischief. Who is this helper? Does he really want to get rid of the disease, the disease that he himself is? What is his objective? What does he want? In helping yourself, don’t you just want the fulfilment of your own goals and desires? "Why do I hesitate?" Now, are you saying that you want to change the whole stuff, the whole direction of your action, the very root of your action?

Lot of self-help is directed towards tackling this question—“Why do I hesitate?” Now, the one who is asking this question, is he saying that "I want to change the very centre from which my action arises"? No, he is not saying that. He is saying, “I want to act in the same way as I used to but I want to act without hesitation.” So, the helper wants to remain the same. The objective is to do just what you want to do in a more efficient way, in a more polished way. Don’t you see what all this self-help is?

Real help is not about doing what you want to do in a better way. Real help is about letting the want itself change. Real help is about letting the actor itself disappear or change. It’s not about being able to be more confident with people. Self-help is about being free of the need to have confidence. But that cannot be the objective of the self-helper. The self-helper will never say that my objective is that I do not need any confidence. He feels that he needs confidence, so, all self-help will be directed towards gaining confidence. Yes? The word ‘self-help’ has Ego as the self. So, when you say ‘self-help’, you only mean “I want to help and fortify my Ego.” That is what self-help is.

Q: Internal software is the same.

AP: Not only the same but more free of bugs, more efficient, on the latest platform. That’s what self-help is. It’s a more polished, decorated and powerful Ego. Truth is the only helper; you cannot be your own helper. Don’t you see that all that you have ever done, you have done only to help yourself? Is there anyone who wishes himself bad? So, whatever you do, you do just to help yourself. But given what you are, whatever you do to help yourself ends up harming you. Yes? Stop being clever. Stop thinking that you can do this and you can do that and that will help you. Do good to yourself.

Q: All the prevalent spiritual masters today emphasize on self-introspection. So, this emphasis has become a tool for both the helper or the one who is listening to them, he always has a tendency to maintain his patterns. And for the spiritual master, they will ensure that this man does not go to any other because they are telling that you can solve your problem. So, actually, indirectly he is following the spiritual master. They have been using this tool for their benefit for quite a long time.

AP: See, only that which is happening is real. You are not the same the next moment as you are in the moment of action, in the moment that you are referring to, in the moment that you are introspecting about. So, the moment is gone, the action is gone, and even the actor is gone. Here was the moment. The moment involved an actor, and an action, and something that was been acted upon, right? Now, all this is gone, time has flown, you have come here. And you decide to introspect, the actor is somebody else now. The action is not happening; the stuff that was been acted upon that too is either not there or has changed. Now, you are introspecting.

Who is introspecting? The one who did not commit the action. What is he introspecting about? The action that is no-more there. So, don’t you see that introspection is just idea operating upon idea? It is of no use whatsoever. But it gives you a false belief that you have realized something. You come up with confidence and say, “You know, this evening I introspected for more than an hour, and I realized that…" Non-sense.

Real introspection has to be in the moment. And that is ‘attention’. Later on, whatever you do is just a cock-and-bull story to please yourself. It is not only false but also actively dangerous because it gives you the false confidence that you have realized, whereas, you have not. It gives you the false confidence that you have understood what was going on, whereas you have not.

All understanding happens only then and there. In fact, if it has not happened then and there, then everything that you do later on to understand is just an escape from ‘really understanding’, so, later on, you can introspect. And that is very fine. That will give you the assurance that you know. You know, and then what you do next? Continue the same mistake in some other form, in a more decorated form, in a more introspective way.

Q: Adding one more concept to your mind.

AP: Adding one more concept, and a very dangerous concept—the concept that you are concept-free.

Q: So, this statement that we keep saying. “People learn from mistakes” or “People learn from experience”, that is…

AP: First of all, if you have already called it a ‘mistake’, how will you learn from it? Calling it a mistake itself means that you are conditioned. You should not take in all this rubbish. First of all, ask— something happened; how do you know it is a mistake? For whom is it a mistake? And, if he is already calling it a mistake, how will he learn? At most, what he will do is, become more cautious of not doing the same thing. But the caution itself shows that the man is the same. Had the man changed, would he have needed caution?

I am someone who will melt under water. Water falls on me and what do I do? I melt. So, I wear 40,000 raincoats. What does that mean? I have changed? That only proves that I am still the same.

An attempt to avoid mistakes is a clear proof that you are still the mistaken. If you have changed, then there would be no attempt towards any mistake; now, you are no more the same. All of these things - introspection, self-help, what was the last one that you spoke of?

Q: Learning from the past.

AP: Learning from past and mistakes. All of these things are just methods to protect the Ego and remain the same. Remain the same, yet keep feeling as if you are improving. All the so-called ‘self-help masters’ are just helping you feel as if you are improving which is extremely dangerous. The patient is being shown false reports, doctored diagnosis. The patient is being shown a doctored diagnosis. And that will be fatal.

Q: This is why it is called, “The idea of sin is the biggest sin.”

AP: So is the idea of virtue; so is any idea.

Q: Leave a mistake so that you will correct it later.

AP: You see, what do you do to correct a mistake that you call as ‘virtue’? The moment you believe in a mistake, you will also believe in the correction. Both go hand-in-hand. From the guilt of mistake, you are able to come to the pleasure of correction; from the mistaken one, you become the corrected one. And in all this, behind you, the mischief-maker keeps smiling.

Q: That is why it’s been said that illusion of forgiveness is also an illusion.”

AP: If you know that it is an illusion, then it is no more an illusion. When you believe that you are forgiving, then you are in an illusion. Had you really forgiven, would you need to forgive? Because if you really forgive, then parallelly you also forget. If you have really forgiven, then parallelly you also forget; you forget even to forgive.

He comes in front of me, and he has done something a week back. If I have really forgiven, would I even remember what he did to me? I have gone past that event. But if he comes to me, and I say, “You know what, you are an idiot, you are a sinner, you deserve to burn in hell, but I am forgiving you.” That only means that I am using this forgiveness just to show him down, and to feel virtuous, and good, and honourable.

Remember, real forgiveness means that you forget to forgive. The event simply doesn’t appear significant to you. It doesn’t get registered on your psyche; it doesn’t become a wound on your psyche. So, who will then remember to forgive? You did something that was not so important to me that I could remember it, what is the point in forgiving?

In fact, you may come and say, ”You know what, I beg your pardon, please forgive me.”

And what would I say? “Forgive you? For what?” Now, I have really forgiven because I have forgotten. One of the teachers tells us, “Remember to forgive!” That’s nice, that’s nice!

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