The best way to save a marriage is to forget that you are married. Till the time you remain married, the marriage is doomed to fail.
If you want to redeem your wife, drop the wife and you will get a lover.
If you want to save your husband, drop the husband and you will get a suitor.
The quarrel is always between the husband and the wife, never between individuals. The quarrel is always between the images; it is the images that fight. The fact of the individual is never in quarrel, strife or contradiction. Never.