The One Mistake We Keep Repeating

Acharya Prashant: There is pleasure in great wakefulness, and equally, there is pleasure in getting drunk. Which pleasure do you want, the pleasure of wakefulness or the pleasure of drunkenness? Both appeal and attract, don’t they? And that’s the choice to be made; that’s the choice that determines your life.

If you see that certain things happen through you in your so-called unintentional state, then affirm to yourself, be resolute that you will never allow things to happen unintentionally through you. This resolution is the best repentance. If you want to repent, tears are not the way; consciousness is the way. You can keep crying over spilled milk; does that help? Instead, tell yourself that, “The state of mind that brought me to a fallen action would never be repeated again. If I am doing something, the action must proceed from realization.”

Watch out against all the mechanical stuff that happens through you; that is your repentance. And in that repentance is a great transformation. Now you are not merely atoning for the mistake; now you are no more remaining the mistaken one. To fight against the mistake is a small battle. Totally transform the mistaken one, let him not be, let him not exist at all. He was a dweller of the dark lands of sleep; you tell yourself, “I will remain awake.”

Brightness and light are repentance when guilt arises from succumbing to darkness.

I plead with everybody to be careful about this. Guilt that does not bring about a total transformation is merely a defense of the mistaken one; the mistaken one will remain the mistaken one by using guilt. This is sham guilt, this is false guilt. If you are really guilty, then send the guilty ones to the gallows. Once somebody is found guilty, is he allowed to continue the way he is? So, if you really think you are guilty, then bring about a change, just don’t keep simmering within.

But that’s what we usually find, no? Somebody feels he is guilty, and he carries the weight and burden of that guilt and becomes ineffective, moribund, melancholy, and loses his vitality. Why is Uncle Joe found drinking so much? Because he is guilty that he ran over his own dog in his drunkenness. Guilty of drinking, he drinks even more to drown his guilt in the drink. That’s what guilt does; it perpetuates the mistake instead of correcting it. It appears as if guilt is ashamed of the mistake, but if you will look carefully, you will find that guilt often defends and perpetuates the mistake.

So, it is alright to feel guilty, but do check whether your guilt is a truly transformative force. If it is not transforming you, then it is self-deception.

Questioner: As you said about the transformation, I think I have the confidence to transform myself. But when this thing is continuously reminded, that confidence shakes.

Acharya Prashant: You don’t need confidence, you need realization. When you really see what you have turned yourself into, then transformation spontaneously happens. You don’t need to feel confident or sure or secure or capable. Neither is your capability needed, nor is your confidence needed, nor is your sureness needed; what is needed is the honest, direct, brutal realization of what you have become. And then there is no space left for idle rumination; then there is instant action.

It is almost like discovering that a snake has fallen on your shoulder or on your neck. Do you sit, cursing your bad luck, and cry and weep and sing a melancholy song? Is that what you do? The moment you discover that this is what has happened to you, there is a spontaneous action. Mostly, the spontaneous action is a blind reaction, but it can be a wise action as well. What is certain is that with the snake on your shoulder, singing sad songs about mass misfortune will not help. Even the snake won’t be amused!

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