How To Build Healthy Relationships?

Acharya Prashant

6 min
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How To Build Healthy Relationships?
A healthy relationship is possible only when you are healthy. A healthy being is not restless, not continuously suffering, and not wandering in tension. When you are settled within, this sureness, power, peace, and completeness reflect in your relationships. What I have within me shines through all my relationships. The relationship of a healthy being is called Love. This summary has been created by volunteers of the PrashantAdvait Foundation

Acharya Prashant: It’s so simple that you’ll be disappointed actually. It is not jazzy to hear or glamorous to look at.

Love is a relationship. A healthy relationship is Love. Any healthy relationship is Love, and a healthy relationship is possible only when you are healthy.

So, the relationships of a healthy being are called Love . The definition is so simple. You don’t find anything very embellished about it.

What is healthy being? A healthy being is one who is not restless, who is not continuously suffering, whose mind is not continuously wandering in tension, in misery.

When you are settled within and you have a sureness within, then in all your relationships, this sureness, this power, this peace, this completeness shows. What I have that reflects in all my relationships. If I’m healthy then that health shines in all my relationships. That health is called Love .

Audience: Acharya Ji, I saw a video of you – only a healthy mind can enter into a friendship. So, how can we become healthy? What are the ways in which we can have healthy mind?

Acharya Prashant: Do you know what does this question imply? I want to become healthy. Are you sure the question is valid?

Audience: Yes.

Acharya Prashant: What’s your name?

Audience: Priya.

Acharya Prashant: Priya, are you sure the question is valid? I deeply wish that you say that the question is invalid. You are saying I want to become healthy without quite realizing what the question implies. Alright, you go to a doctor and you say doctor I want to become healthy. What does that imply? That you are sick. I deeply wish you say, the question is invalid. Because you are not sick, none of you are sick. All of you are already healthy. It’s just that we have been made to believe in a thousand things that amount to sickness but in spite of our beliefs, we are still healthy.

You don’t need to become healthy, you are healthy.

An effort at becoming something implies the absence of that. Don’t you see that? If I want to get something what does that imply? I don’t have it. If I want to become healthy, I’m trying to say I’m sick and you cannot be sick because sickness is nobody’s nature. We are healthy, just that the health can be obfuscated, covered by a thousand many things. They are just loose layers of dust, they can be easily blown away. You are not sick, nobody is sick.

All of you are good, nice, healthy, intelligent people. You are not sick. Don’t believe when somebody tells you that you that there is something deeply flawed within you, that you are sick or this or that. No…. No…. No…. Time and conditioning give you some kind of dirt but that dirt is not your nature, it can be blown away, very easily. You are not sick. See, you go out and you travel a long distance and the road is dusty and then you watch your face in the mirror and what do you see? Layers of dust, don’t you see that? But does that mean that you are that dust? You are not that dust, that dust can be cleaned. You are not sick. You are healthy.

What does Health mean? Health means that which you are without any education.

Health means that which you are without any kind of education or training. Health means that which you are if you are not told anything about health. Health means that which you unconditionally are. Health means that which you would have known even without being told about it. Health means that which all animals and all trees and the entire existence know without the aid of any teacher or any book. That is Health .

You do not require a book to tell you that Freedom is your nature. Nobody likes to be kept hostage. Nobody likes to be taken captive. That is Health . Freedom – a free mind is Health . and you can never lose this health because never in your life, Priya, will you like bondage.

Even in your worst situation, even in your darkest hour, even in your last breath, you will not be able to force yourself to like slavery. It is impossible.

Impossible.

Freedom is Health.

Similarly, even in your worst situation, you will not be able to force yourself to like misery or suffering. So, Joy is Health , Joy is your Nature .

Similarly, even in the most peculiar of situations, you will never like lies and falsehoods. You always want to know the Truth and you cannot change it. Be it you or your neighbor or some man in Africa or some child one thousand years back or one thousand years hence, everybody wants to know the Truth . Truth is your nature, without exception. And you don’t have to gain it, it is there. You cannot lose it, you are Healthy .

Nobody can lose his or her Nature. You are Healthy.

Then the question turns around to “what makes us believe that we are not Healthy ?” The various voices that keep on telling you that you have to gain something, achieve something, become something – you know that’s the question you asked, “how can I become healthy?” That question is on the same lines as, “how can I become a manager? How can I become a good wife? How can I become a successful person? How can I become a billionaire?” You see the commonality? – ‘Becoming’. I want to become something.

We’ve been constantly been taught to become something and becoming implies the absence of what you want to become.

Becoming is alright in small matters but in essential matters of life, becoming is a disease, unnecessary disease. A disease that is just an assumption but such a deep assumption that it ruins the entire climate of the mind.

It runs so deep. Never believe that you are unhealthy; never believe that you’ve become deeply sick. Yes, your mood can be spoilt. Alright! Moods come and go but moods are always superficial. Deep within, you are good, illuminated. Alright! Nothing wrong with you. You’re not sick. Nobody is. Is that becoming clear?

This article has been created by volunteers of the PrashantAdvait Foundation from transcriptions of sessions by Acharya Prashant
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