Rape: Not an Incident, A Continuity
Questioner: Sir, in your book (Truth Without Apology) you have mentioned a quote that says, “Society’s concern for women suddenly peaks during headline crimes, but real change demands attention to the silent suffering of their everyday life.”
So I have a question based on that.
Most of the women who get raped, it is not by people from outside. It is mostly from within their houses. The rapes that are reported are committed by close relatives of the women. We do not want women to leave the houses. We restrict them from leaving the houses. We tell them to stay within boundaries. But are they really safe even within those boundaries?
Acharya Prashant: You have to explore this thing in its entirety. You see, rape is not an incident. Rape is not a particular little episode. Rape is a continuity. And that’s what I’ve addressed in this chapter.
Your concern for the woman peaks only when an incident of deep physical violation happens. But that physical violation does not happen in a vacuum. It does not happen suddenly. There has been a long-drawn preparation.
If you go into the stats and look at the profile of the women who have been raped, you’ll find most of them are dependent and helpless women. Not that the liberated ones can’t be raped, even they are raped; that does happen. But the overwhelming majority of victims, rape victims, are those who could not stand on their own in front of the rapist. It’s an ecosystem. Please understand.
And here we are talking only of the reported cases of rape. Various organizations estimate that the number of unreported cases is many times the reported cases, and they are unreported precisely because the woman is too feeble to report. Feeble in front of whom? Shouldn’t we ask? In front of the rapist. There is an ecosystem in which the rapist has power over the raped, and that’s the reason why she is raped.
When you are enfeebling yourself, when you are subjecting yourself to the mercy of others, in some sense you are making yourself much more vulnerable to rape, because we are animals.
Please understand.
If the earth were just one year old, let’s say the earth was made; though I don’t believe in creationism but for the sake of…, let’s say the earth was made on 1st January 2024. You know when did man walk out of the jungle? At 11:59 p.m., 56 seconds on the night of 31st December. So if the earth is 365 days old, we came out of the jungle just four seconds back. We have continuously been creatures of the jungle. The animal is still alive here and kicking. He will rape.
We are all beasts carrying laptops, wearing neckties, trying to behave in a civilized way. But now and then, again and again, the whole thing cracks open. The facade fractures.
If you leave yourself weak and vulnerable, you are submitting to the ecosystem of rape. What’s worse? it won’t even be reported.
Some of the societies where rape is most prevalent are the most deeply patriarchal societies in the world. What’s very interesting, however, is that when it gets even more patriarchal, you don’t have so many rape cases reported for two reasons. One, women don’t dare to report. Second, because those are primitive societies, they come up with very dastardly punishments, and then the apparent incidence of rape drops.
Are you getting it?
The first thing is: empower yourself through education, through exposure, through wisdom. Empower yourself. Otherwise, this beast will pounce upon any easy prey. Morality, ethics, they are all very superficial things. They don’t work in front of intense carnal desire. When it comes to sexual urges, no lessons of morality really succeed. In fact, those who deliver sermons of morality are often found to be most prone to sexual scandals. All the religious institutions, all the babas; look at the churches, the mosques, and all the babas. How frequently they are accused of sexual scandals and even convicted. Which simply means that lectures and sermons don’t work.
That means you have to have a certain weight of your own, a certain heft of your own. Else you’ll just be left complaining to the benevolent power up there: “You know, I’m such a pious woman. Why was I violated?” Because that’s how it happens in the jungle. That’s the answer. That’s all.
Now the second part: in spite of all your power and preparation, rape will still happen. You can limit it, but not totally obliterate it. We are beasts. We’ll find a way.
There have been rapists who have confessed that they knew in advance they would be caught, tried, and jailed. Yet the urge was so overwhelming that they committed the rape. Sometimes they don’t just rape; they rape and then they kill. Later on they say, “We knew we would now be sent to the gallows, capital punishment. Yes, we knew in advance, but still we wanted to have the pleasure of raping.”
So rape would exist even with the strictest kind of punishment; it would. Then you need to understand that you have empowered yourself. You have come to a certain height of consciousness. And if still you are physically violated, you already know the limits of physicality. You already know that you are not just the physical body. You already know that what is precious about you is not just the physical body, or specifically the sexual organs.
You know you are a knowledgeable woman. You know there is so much in you that deserves appreciation, value, and respect. “I am an empowered one. I’m a liberated one. I’m a conscious one. I’m an awakened one. I’m no longer just my body.”
But still, you’re walking on this road, some lane, and some mad dog comes and bites you. Will that lower your self-esteem? You’ll just shrug it off and say, “Fine, something happened. Let me visit the doctor, get the right treatment, and carry on with life.”
Has it happened to you? You are nicely all dolled up, and some random crow drops its thing on your head. Has it happened? Come on, confess.
Questioner: Yes.
Acharya Prashant: So does that make you lose your self-respect? So some random crow, in the form of a man, came and dropped his thing on your body. Why should it bother you too much? Wipe it off and continue moving. These things can happen. There is a crow, a rabbit, and a dog. These people do their things. All kinds of pathogens, they do succeed in violating your body, don’t they?
Common cold, what is it? Some outsider has managed to enter your body. That is a common cold. The virus has managed to enter your body, that too without your consent. Right?
“I know who I am. I’m light itself. I’m brilliant. I’m bold. I’m alive. When I’m conscious, I’m born for higher things in life. I’m a woman.”
Now why should I be so bothered if that dog or that crow has done something ugly to my body?
Questioner: Sir, when a man disrespects a woman, the first thing anybody would say is, “Ghar mein maa behen nahi hai kya?” The question is: is it so difficult for us to establish respect in a man’s heart for an unknown woman? And why is it so difficult for us to follow some basic ethics, basic values that we should be born with as humans?
Acharya Prashant: If you have something worth respect, and if it is not respected, how do you stand to lose?
You named a few greats. You respect them, right? If you don’t respect them, do they stand to lose anything? Will they be lowered because you don’t respect them? You spit at the sky, does the sky start crying?
Let the men not respect you. That is not the question. The question is whether you deserve respect. That should be the fundamental question. That’s the question every human being must be very concerned with. Have I elevated my life to a point of value? Is there something in me that deserves to be respected? First of all, self-respect. Do I respect myself? Really?
Ego is one thing. Ego we all have. But do I have true self-respect? And if I really am someone who has cultivated inner value, then how is it a problem if a random fellow does not offer me respect? How is it a problem? Please tell me.
Questioner: Sir, disrespect in the sense when men, let’s say one ABC-named guy, okay? He gropes a woman. And let’s say he harasses her. I’m talking about that kind of respect, like disrespect.
Acharya Prashant: Why do we allow such lowly, retarded beings to have a presence in our life? Why?
Questioner: Sir, what about strangers who do this in open areas, like buses, like transport, like bus stops? What about those people? We are not even talking to them, but still they harass us. What about them?
Acharya Prashant: So I answered this question in the discussion on rape. First thing is: you should be so empowered in all senses possible, spiritual, financial, and in the sense of education and knowledge, that lowly beings don’t get to come close to you. And then we said man is a beast. He will still find ways to approach you. And then certain things are not within your control. You ignore. What can you do?
Questioner: Sir, moving on from the part, it sounds very nice: okay, you should become so empowered that you move on and all. All of that, on a girl’s part, is very right. But is it justified?
Acharya Prashant: It is not justified. Now tell me, what do we do? Let’s preach. “Listen, all you men out here, it is not justified. Don’t do it. Will you all behave as good boys? Say yes.” They’ll say yes. And that changes nothing.
So what kind of security or assurance are you seeking from men? Remember, we are all beasts. All these assurances will be forgotten in the moment of sexual excitation. Everything is forgotten. So don’t seek guarantees. They won’t help you.
Questioner: So, sir, the poor animals are not getting raped, only the female ones by men. So why is it happening? Why are men so eager? They want to have.
Acharya Prashant: See, you must understand: in the animal kingdom, rape is very rare. Therefore, it is not a male versus female thing. It is a man versus woman thing. Understand the difference.
In the entire animal kingdom, rape is very rare. In most species, it does not exist. Ours is the only privileged species, because we are civilized and cultured and so on. It is a man versus woman thing, not a male versus female thing.
Why in our species is rape so endemic? Why? Because in no other species has the woman been taught to be so submissive. Because they are not cultured. Because they don’t have traditions.
The lion cannot rape the lioness. Impossible. Even though the lioness is physically a little weaker compared to the lion, but there is no way the lion can rape the lioness. Not even monkeys rape female monkeys. Not possible. Not happening. In no other species is it happening. But we have education, religion, culture and great books. We have an organized society. That’s why rape happens. You have to understand where it is coming from. It is a mental thing, first of all, showing physical consequences.
Rape is an ecosystem. Rape is a value system. Rape starts when the little girl is offered a pink dress and her twin brother is offered something else in white and black and gray. Rape is an ecosystem.
Do you understand how much rape has to do with religion? Do you understand how much religion has to do with the inferior position of women? Have you gone into the old myths across all religious books of the world and seen how women have been punished and even raped? And so many times, when women have been raped, the rapist has been lightly let off and the woman has been punished for being raped.
That’s not something new. That’s coming from our tradition, our entire past, and that’s the reason it is not happening in the animal kingdom, because they don’t have those books. They don’t have the notions that we as human beings have. They are creatures of instinct, but we are creatures of thought, and thought is conditioned. Do you understand this?
So then, how to tackle this menace of rape? You’ll have to first of all drop the ecosystem that breeds rape. You cannot just talk of one particular moment. You cannot avoid that moment as long as the ecosystem thrives.
Every little thing that enfeebles you must be seen for what it is and rejected. What is all this, the thing called chivalry? Reject it. Why must he pull your chair for you? Why must he open the door for you? Why must he pay for the date? Why must he be the provider of the family? Reject it.
Why must you be continuously pregnant? Reject it. Why must you sacrifice your career for kids? Reject it. And don’t say, “What do all these things have to do with rape?” They have a very clear connection. They all come from the same root.
Probably rape started when man moved to farming. We do not know, because there are no records. I’m speculating, because that’s when the notion of private property becomes affirmed. When you are in the jungle, nobody can own the jungle. If the fruit is there, it belongs to the one who picks it up. But when you become farmers, then the land is yours. And then you want to own stuff.
What kind of stuff do you want to own? Stuff that appeals to you. Stuff that ingratiates your senses. Now woman is a good stuff, good to have sex with. And also she cooks well. And also I need manpower on the farm. She is the one who will produce sons for me. And those sons will be great things to bequeath my property to, and they’ll be useful on the farm, and they’ll be useful when it comes to brawls.
That’s the nature of the beast, to care for his self-interest. You cannot accuse the beast of being selfish. You have to realize that there has to be a particular way to protect yourself from the beast. And the way is, first of all, you don’t remain a beast.
If you remain a beast, then you will strike a Faustian bargain with the beast. You’ll have a deal with the devil. You’ll say, “I accept submission to you. You just keep providing for me.”
You’re talking of rape as something that happens only sometimes. Come on, think of marital rape. Think of marital rape. A stranger gropes you, and you are very justified in resenting it. What if, over a period of five decades, your own husband keeps groping you all the time? How will you complain? And to whom? Who will register it? But if you are weak, anybody will grope you. Don’t complain, rise, gain power. And that is possible.
When we entered agriculture, the principal source of power was human muscle. And that’s where, historically, women were handicapped. You had the uterus but not the muscle, a double handicap: pregnancy and periods, but relatively very little muscle mass. The handicap. Now the principal source of power is consciousness. There is no handicap. If you are educated, if you are knowledgeable, you have power. When you appear for a job interview, do they measure your muscle mass now? No.
Even wars are won and lost not on the basis of muscle. The country having better technology will win all wars. The intellect; and the wisdom to guide the intellect, that’s what the woman needs.
Today there is no reason, no justification, why you must remain submissive. Today, if you are still submissive, you have only yourself to blame.
Don’t complain. Don’t sulk. Take ownership. Say, “My life, my responsibility.”
And when it happens; and sometimes it will continue to happen, when it happens, tell yourself: “This means I need to be still stronger. If the fellow managed to hurt me in some way, emotionally or physically, I’ll not blame the fellow. He’s a beast. First of all, I’ll tell myself: I need to be still stronger.”
That does not mean that you don’t need to launch an FIR. Obviously, if somebody does something untoward, do go and lodge an FIR. Do that. But that will never suffice. The same thing might happen again. The only real antidote is your own inner upliftment, in both the material and the spiritual sense.
As long as you keep carrying the old notions of the good girl and the good woman, you’ll only be polishing your chains. You don’t need to be a good girl of the old type. You don’t need to be the good wife of the old type. Drop those notions. A clear break from history is needed. History has nothing for you, I repeat.
