He Chose a Wife, Not a Guru
Questioner: We have a question by Pooja. So people who try to become self-aware and you know knowledgeable of themselves. They usually became the black sheep of their families.
Question by Pooja is what can we do if our loved ones, that is spouse, parents, friends are not receptive to veganism or they do not show understanding towards animal welfare? So, what do we do?
Acharya Prashant: See, you cannot be vegan without being really spiritual. And this would ruffle a few feathers and probably hurt a few. But let me put this when you are spiritual, the first thing that you realize is that your family is not really your own.
You cannot be a vegan if you continue to be too attached to your family. You can either be a family man or really a vegan. It's a difficult choice and most people will not like the way I am putting it. They’ll say he’s turning it into an either or situation. Why can't we have both? Why must there always be this kind of conflict?
I know the arguments but I also know the truth. I see it everywhere, I see it in my own family. Just because you are a vegan that does not matter to people who will not listen. And those who won’t listen they just won’t listen and if you think too much about your family then forget about the wider family that you really belong to. Are you getting it?
There is no need to think of it as a heartbreak or something. It’s just a fact of life. You see, to be a vegan is to stand up stoutly against the pleasure principle. And if you think of the institution of family there it stands on the pleasure principle.
First of all, why do men and women get together? For pleasure, what else? The family rests primarily on these two pillars, right? The man and the women coming together. The mother and the father and the husband and the wife whatever.
The beginning itself comes from lust for pleasure. And now you tell these two, who came together for pleasure, that you cannot have pleasure anymore. You give up your milk and chai and such stuff. Why will they listen to you? Why do parents beget kids? For pleasure. In a moment of pleasure, the kid is conceived, and if it’s a planned pregnancy then the entire motive is to have somebody support you in your old age. Again, the same pleasure principle.
So, the family rests on pleasure. And veganism says there is something far higher than pleasure. My pleasure cannot be bigger than the right of that little fellow to live. My lust for pleasure cannot be bigger than my commitment to consciousness. So, the family system and veganism just don’t go together. The family system and spirituality don’t go together.
At the risk of sounding just, just, too cynical, let me say, in general the family system and goodness do not go together. It’s another matter, that by dint of your perseverance and your effort you are able to convince and convert some of your family members. That is possible, entirely possible, but to think that just because a certain group of people belong to your family therefore, they’ll be more amenable to your virtuous advice, is just wishful thinking, daydreaming it won't happen. And if you try too much of that all you'll get is some heartbreak.
In fact, if you want to turn somebody vegan, focus on your neighbors, not on your parents, not on your spouse. These are the last people who listen to any kind of, they’ll simply say, “you’re virtue signaling, you just to want to have an upper hand. And why can't we have our own choices?” They are not going to be amenable because they are related to you via the pleasure principle .
When a man chooses a wife, is he really wedding a Guru? Now the wife turns vegan and starts sermonizing, why will the man take it? The man will say I brought home a luscious body and remain that. Remain that. You are trying to become somebody I never opted for. This is not what I choose to bring home! You are trying to be a Guru. you are trying to be a preacher. I don't want a preacher, I want a cute wife. That's all.
Focus on the neighbors. instead of your family whatsapp group, focus on the anonymous people on social media you will get greater success there. If you raise a big civil war on your family whatsapp group and we have a family whatsapp group, right? Extended family is there, some thirty-forty members are there. All you will get is silence. And if you try too hard some admin will simply throw you out of the group. That's all that you’ll get.
Questioner: Yeah, I think you just put it out there, the unapologetic answer like deal with it. Okay. The last question from our side would be from Aarti. She says that from an ethical standpoint is it more important to push few people to be perfect vegans or a large number to reduce the consumption of non-vegan food?
Acharya Prashant: See, somebody's life has to be saved. It does’t matter how that life will be saved. If forty people can become half vegan whatever that means, if forty people become half vegans that is obviously better than having ten perfect vegans. So, I don't care too much for purity. I care for that little one’s life.
Questioner: Thank you.
