How to Recognize Experiences that Nurture Egolessness
Questioner: Pranaam Acharya Ji. Equanimity equal to immorality, and we are trying to solve that equation that Shri Krishna has given. And in the process, we have understood that anything that is ego-centered cannot be equanimous because it will add meanings to all the things that it experiences in the world.
And we have told immortality is possible only if you are centered with egolessness. Now as the discussion goes forward, what I have understood is one who is starting his journey from ego-centeredness will start using the world to frame all the meanings to all the experiences that he has. Now, he's supposed to do a journey to go to egolessness—that is when this equanimity, immorality is possible.
Now, this journey is to be a journey in which he goes to higher experiences, experiences that will help him drop his self. I'm not sure if I'm interpreting it rightly because when we were discussing with Sanjit Ji, we were telling from point A to B, you have come; from B to C, you need to try new things in such a way that it helps you move forward in egolessness.
So, does this mean a person who is at one level of experiencing, if he has to move forward, he should choose the experiences that will help him drop his self?
Now, this quality—how will he identify? Will he be able to? I mean, what are the few parameters that he should look at while choosing the next level of experiences?
Acharya Prashant: All that he can see is whether the next choice that he is being naturally drawn to is just an extension of the previous ones. The way has to be of the classical old rejection—"neti neti."
Look at the basket of the so-called new options and see which of these new options are nothing but recycling of the previous ones. Reject them. You can never identify the new—is that not obvious? The new is never available to be identified. Only the old can be identified. So, identify the old and, with gratitude, send it away.
Questioner: So, only when he keeps sending away the old can he reinvent himself?
Acharya Prashant: That is reinvention. That is reinvention because the one to be reinvented is the ego, right? And the ego is its own object—the ego has no existence of its own. What is the ego? Something that exists only in relationship with its object, right?
So, if you can do away with the old object, you have done away with the old ego. It's not so straightforward. It's not as if the ego is identified with the shirt, so if I remove my shirt, the ego will be gone. It's not that straightforward, but I'm pointing at something—changing the objects that you have been habitually associated with is a necessary but not sufficient condition.
It is quite possible that you change all the stuff around you, but the stuff inside you still remains the same. That is possible. But if you refuse to change even the stuff around you, then it is almost guaranteed that the stuff inside will never change. The ego takes security in its objects—mental objects, memories, physical objects, relationships. It wants them to be repeated again and again.
Questioner: So, one who is changing—validating whether it's actually changing him, right? Whether it's actually his identifications that have changed? Right.
Acharya Prashant: Obviously. Because the ego is no mug—it's quite cunning. It can very coolly play this game of changing all the exteriors and yet not changing the interiors. And it's a very spiritual game.
The householders—the worldly people—do not play this game so much. The spiritual people play this game a lot. So, they will change their clothes, wear clothes of a certain color, they'll start living a certain way, and it will appear as if everything has changed. Even their language will change, they will shave their head and do all these things, but inside, not much changes.
So, we are aware of that trap. We know that there is a threat of that kind. But still, what we are saying is—try changing. Ultimately, whether or not real change happens depends just on the intention. The intention is the final thing. And we must also concede that if the intention is right, inner change can happen even without outer change, though the probability is quite thin.
We know of people who have continued to live in the same place in the same way, and yet have internally grown into a very blossoming kind of state. All that is possible. But there are no formulas.
Questioner: And also, just wanted to get clarity a bit more—when does one decide this change should be made? What will make one person make that decision?
Acharya Prashant: See, you do not get into experiences for the sake of nothing. One gets into anything because that thing provides meaning, because that thing is supposed to lead to improvement. So, you have to keep seeing that you are the final measure of the worth of anything in the world.
Please note it down—you are the final measure of the worth of anything in the world. Everything exists to you and for your sake. The moment you find that the thing is not adding value to you anymore, it's time to move on. Because that thing might be magnificent in itself, but the measure of that thing is the value that it provides to you.
When you move on, it is not as if you're insulting that thing. You're just saying that it's my time to move on. The thing might still be very magnificent for several others, but it's your time to move.
Questioner: Thankyou Acharya Ji.
Acharya Prashant: Thankyou.
