A questioner, a 36-year-old working professional, shares her marital problems. Five years ago, she had a love marriage with a divorced engineer, assuming he would be experienced and wise. However, she now finds him to be a very conditioned man, heavily influenced by society, his family, and casteism, as theirs was an inter-caste marriage. Despite practicing Osho meditation for eight years and initially not wanting to marry, she got married at 31. She struggles to get along with her husband's family due to their traditional values and has been living mostly alone for the past two years because he is more attached to them. He expects her to follow all rituals, leading to verbal arguments followed by repentance. Currently, she lives in her own apartment, 40 kilometers away from his posting, while he wants to return to a conventional married life and start a family. She is confused about how to find peace in this situation, noting her husband's lack of spiritual interest. Acharya Prashant responds by stating that the questioner already knows everything, and the one within her who knows all also knows what to do. He humorously questions what she wants him to say, as he has been speaking on this topic for a long time. He finds it inappropriate to delve too deeply into such a personal matter with specific advice. He playfully asks what kind of meditation she is doing and suggests that Osho would have questioned why his name was being brought into this. He advises her to consider what problem she has with her current life of living alone. When she mentions her husband's constant nagging over the phone, Acharya Prashant's simple advice is to "Block" him. He emphasizes that the foundation of a relationship should be friendship. He uses the analogy of a banana leaf (woman) and a jujube tree (man), explaining that if they are too close, they will tear each other apart. He suggests that a 40-kilometer distance is safe and that they should meet occasionally. He strongly criticizes the practice of women giving their ATM cards to their husbands, viewing it as a lack of self-respect and financial independence. He advocates for self-reliance, maintaining a private space, a separate room, and a separate bank account. He concludes that without friendship, there should be no cohabitation, and it is especially important not to bring children into such a relationship. He reiterates that friendship is the key question to ask in a relationship.
