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Emotional dependency and loneliness || Acharya Prashant, with IIT Bombay (2020)
33.1K views
5 years ago
Emotional Dependency
Loneliness
Incompleteness
Ego
Existential Problem
Vedanta
Liberation
Shri Krishna
Description

Acharya Prashant addresses the question of overcoming emotional dependency and loneliness by first stating that various types of dependencies—material, financial, physical, emotional, or spiritual—are superficial distinctions. The root of all dependency is a fundamental sense of incompleteness of the 'I'. He explains that we are born feeling that something is not quite right about us, a deep, unconscious belief that even a newborn baby carries. This sense of imperfection or incompleteness is what drives most people to do whatever they do in their lifetimes, such as acquiring knowledge, social certification, relationships, and wealth. The speaker describes the 'I' tendency as a raging dissatisfaction against itself. This dissatisfaction is not caused by a specific event but is inherent to the human condition; we are born feeling bad, hungry, and dissatisfied. The problem is existential: we are lonely because we exist, and we are dependent because we exist. The event that has happened is our birth itself. This is the human condition. He asserts that we are all born depressed, but for most, it is latent or asymptomatic. The disease is deeper than we think. To challenge this problem, one must exist in a different way altogether. The shallow way is to fight loneliness with distractions, but the real way is to stop feeding the false sense of self, the ego. He invites the questioner to turn to Vedanta and the teachings of sages like Kapila Rishi, Kanada Rishi, Shri Krishna, and Mahavir. By developing a taste for being in their company, one's perspective shifts. Instead of seeking to add more to life to combat loneliness, the focus becomes purifying oneself of the unnecessary clutter—people, things, and concepts. This is the opposite of loneliness; it's a position of power where one has learned discretion and asks the world to keep away, rather than begging it for company. Freedom from dependency and loneliness is only possible by exercising the option to live as something beyond the ego.