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Are you still a kid? || Acharya Prashant, with NIT-Silchar (2022)
7.8K views
3 years ago
Parent-Child Relationship
Maturity
Consciousness
Death
Kathopanishad
Family Issues
Description

Acharya Prashant addresses the question of how an adult child, around 25 years old, can handle their parents' conflicts. He advises that the first step is to stop thinking of them primarily as 'your parents.' While this relationship is appropriate when one is a dependent child, at 25, one is an adult and a person in their own right. Continuing to see them only as parents is unloving and exploitative, as it perpetuates a one-sided relationship of dependency where the parent is the provider and the child is the taker. To truly help, the adult child must shift their perspective and relate to their parents as individuals, as persons with whom they share a special past and biology. Once this shift occurs, the relationship becomes one between equals, like friends. An adult child can then address their parents directly about their issues, saying something like, "Guys, enough of this bickering." This is a conversation between persons, not a child complaining to their parents. The speaker emphasizes that one cannot help their father while remaining a son, because in the traditional father-son dynamic, help flows only one way. For help to be mutual, two persons must relate to each other. By the time one is an adult, they should be able to walk out of the shadows of their parents and not need their 'umbrella' anymore. The greatest tribute to parents is for their child to become a capable, mature individual who no longer needs to be a dependent son or daughter. Acharya Prashant further explains this using the concept of death and a story from the Kathopanishad. He states that death is an ever-present fact of life, and we are all constantly dying. He refers to Nachiketa, who, in his quest for Truth, asked Yamraj (the god of death) about death. In response, Yamraj taught him about life, implying that understanding life is the way to transcend death, which is immortality. The speaker advises against making the situation melodramatic. We are all in the same boat, and what is needed is to do things that are truthful, simple, and ordinary. He encourages relating to parents as mature human beings, which allows for genuine love and support to flow between them.