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How to deal with Toxic People? || Acharya Prashant
18K views
2 years ago
Toxicity
Liberation
Relationships
Compulsion
Self-knowledge
Responsibility
Consciousness
Environment
Description

Acharya Prashant responds to a question about dealing with toxic people by first questioning how the questioner managed to accommodate so many toxic people in her daily life. He states that "like attracts like" and asks how these people gravitated towards her in the first place. When the questioner clarifies it's only one or two people she cannot avoid, Acharya Prashant defines toxicity as precisely that which cannot be avoided. He points out that this is everyone's apology and explanation for their situation. He further probes why these people are still in her sensory or mental domain. The speaker challenges the idea that family obligations are paramount. He asserts, "You are not born to be a family woman; you are born to be liberated." He explains that liberation is bigger than everything else, including one's gender, identities, roles, and relationships, which are all subservient to one's existential purpose. He reminds the questioner that she was born alone and will die alone, and the only thing that will remain with her is the height of consciousness she could reach. He argues that the compulsion to interact with toxic people is what fuels the toxicity. If toxicity knew it would be thrown out, it would change its ways, but it persists because it knows it will be accommodated. Acharya Prashant identifies the fundamental problem as a feeling of obligation, compulsiveness, and indebtedness, all arising from an ignorance of one's true nature. Because people do not know who they really are, they take on needless roles and responsibilities. He explains that toxicity is not inherent in a person but breeds in an environment, and one supports it either actively by being toxic or passively by tolerating it. He advises calling a spade a spade, not out of vindictiveness, but as an exercise in factfulness. If the other person does not listen, one cannot force them, but one's own well-being is always in one's own hands.