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Why is it so difficult to forgive and forget? || Acharya Prashant (2022)
19.6K views
3 years ago
Forgiveness
Moving On
Self-Improvement
Consciousness
Relationships
Wisdom Literature
Vedanta
Hurt
Description

Acharya Prashant addresses the difficulty of forgiving someone by using an analogy of checking out of a hotel. He presents two scenarios. In the first, if you check out of a bad hotel in a fit of rage and find yourself on the cold pavement, you will miss the bad hotel. In the second scenario, if you check out of an inferior hotel and check into a superior one, you will not miss the bad one. This illustrates that one misses a bad situation only when a better alternative is not available. Life does not afford vacuums; by its very definition, we are always looking for something to relate to, identify with, and call our own. This is because the nature of human consciousness is to be better. The only way to be better is to progressively associate with better people, thoughts, causes, places, and work. Life constantly wants betterment. It is natural to sometimes associate with something unworthy due to an error of judgment. The key is to move on, which means moving on from the inferior self that made the wrong choice in the first place. If one does not move on internally, they will face a vacuum, which will be filled by something equally unworthy, leading to a cycle of hurt. Moving on is not just about dropping a person or an episode; it is about moving on from your previous, inferior self. To truly move on, one must ask if they are still the same person who got associated with the wrong person initially. If so, they haven't truly moved on. The solution is internal development, which is achieved through wisdom literature, particularly Vedanta. Reading helps one change from within, which in turn naturally changes one's relationships, thoughts, and role models without effort. The purpose of any relationship is self-improvement. If a relationship does not lead to internal improvement, it is a bad one. One must ask if their decisions and relationships are good for their inner growth and will lead to clarity and freedom, or if they will aggravate existing bondages.