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The Perils of People-Pleasing || Acharya Prashant
19.6K views
2 years ago
Social Validation
Company
Ego
Discretion
Self-Validation
Worthiness
Description

Acharya Prashant addresses the conflict between being oneself and the need for social validation by first questioning the source of this validation. He asks, "Exactly whose validation?" When the questioner mentions peers and family, the speaker probes further, asking, "How valuable are your peers? What kind of respect do they deserve?" He points out that if one seeks validation from a peer, that person is likely at a similar level of consciousness, making their validation pointless. The speaker uses an analogy to illustrate his point: if you want to learn tennis, you would not go to a grocer to validate your backhand. The grocer is not in a position to validate a tennis stroke. Similarly, one should not seek life validation from unqualified people like a grocer, a cobbler, or a plumber. He states that the problem is not seeking validation itself, but seeking it from someone who lacks the position and worth to give it. If you want validation, you should go to a proper coach or a "life teacher." The central problem, according to the speaker, is not the need for validation but the lack of "high company." He advises being in the company of those who matter, whether in person or through their books, and asking if a great person like Vivekananda would validate one's thoughts or actions. Ultimately, one must reach a point where their "internal light" is so strong that external validation is no longer needed. Until then, the crucial step is to stop listening to "fools" and to be discreet about whose opinions are valued. He concludes that one must learn to listen and also learn not to listen, and that the ego's tendency to find comfort in lazy and wrong company must be challenged.