Acharya Prashant explains that the pain experienced from the death of a loved one has two primary aspects. The first is that whatever we consider 'ours' becomes an integral part of our own being and identity. Therefore, when a loved one is taken away, it feels as though a part of our own self has been torn, broken, or separated. The death of a loved one is thus experienced as a partial death of oneself. Secondly, we generally do not know our pure being, the 'I'. Instead, we define our existence through what is 'mine'тАФour relationships, possessions, achievements, and ideas. Our identity is a collection of these external associations, like contents in a basket. When one of these contents, such as a loved one, is removed, it feels as if a part of our own being has disappeared. We are the sum of things with which we have a relationship, and when one of them is gone, it feels like our own death. This pain is also deeply connected to regret. We live under the illusion that life is endless and the body is immortal, causing us to postpone what is truly important. We keep thinking, 'Tomorrow will come,' and leave today incomplete. However, 'tomorrow' (kal) is also 'time/death' (Kaal); it doesn't just arrive, it consumes. When death strikes, we are left with regret, wishing for just one more day to express our love and say what was left unsaid, despite having had thousands of days to do so. The greatest injustice is often done to those closest to us, under the assumption that they will always be there. The speaker suggests that the way to mitigate this pain is to bring depth and completeness to our relationships. A relationship should be elevated beyond the physical body. If a relationship is body-centric, its end is inevitable with the body's demise. However, if a relationship has attained depth and its true purpose, then physical death will not be as painful, because the essential connection that was nurtured remains untouched.
