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Living Alone or Together: Making the Right Choice || Acharya Prashant
16.7K views
2 years ago
Relationship
Love
Neediness
Compassion
Aloneness
Incompleteness
Exploitation
Description

Acharya Prashant addresses the question of whether one should live alone or in a relationship by stating that as long as one is bodily alive, one is always relating, making relationships not a choice. The real question, he posits, is not whether to relate, but who is the one relating, and how and why they are relating. He explains that one type of relationship proceeds from an incomplete sense of self, where the purpose is to gain completion through the other. In this state, one looks at the world desperately, hoping something will offer fullness and contentment. Such relationships, born of dissatisfaction and meekness, are necessarily full of dependence and exploitation. This is the common way people relate, often mislabeling it as love, where "I love you" actually means "I need you." This kind of connection is based on mutual need fulfillment and ends when one person becomes useless to the other. Alternatively, there is another way of living and relating. This way begins from a state of being already alright, where one's aloneness is not only sufficient but also blissful. From this state of self-sufficiency, one sees others who are needlessly punishing themselves by searching for fullness through others. The relationship that arises from this understanding is not based on neediness or exploitation, but on compassion. It is a desire to show others that no one is truly needy. This, he states, is real love. The great ones have always been great relaters, connecting with all of humanity, animals, and even non-sentient beings without boundaries, because their love and compassion were boundless. He concludes by advising to relate prolifically, but without using the other to fill an inner hollowness, as that is not love.