Acharya Prashant explains that one only thinks of punishing another when one has been hurt. A mistake is when someone does something bad to you that hurts you. He uses an analogy: you cannot drive a nail into open space, but if you drive a nail into a wall, the wall will break a little. This, he says, is the ego. Only the ego can be hurt. Truth and understanding cannot be hurt. Therefore, whenever you feel hurt, you should know that the attack has been on the ego. Those who have made a habit of getting hurt frequently should understand that they are supremely egoistic. He further explains that getting hurt and then forgiving is a game of the ego. First, by getting hurt, the feeling of 'I' is strengthened. Then, by forgiving, one feels superior, which makes the ego even bigger. Both getting hurt and forgiving are signs of the ego. You would only forgive if you were hurt in the first place. The real victory is not in forgiving, but in not getting hurt at all. If someone apologizes, a person who is truly light would respond, "Sorry for what? I didn't feel bad." or "I didn't take your abuses, they are still with you." The one who can hurt you becomes your master because you have given them the right to do so. Instead of focusing on the other person, you should look at your own mind and question why it gets agitated so easily. We should be open in love, not closed in the ego where we can be hurt.