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What is the limit of forgiveness? || Acharya Prashant, at SRCC (2023)
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2 years ago
Forgiveness
Hurt
Strength
Liberation
Spirituality
Vulnerability
Compassion
Identity
Description

Acharya Prashant addresses a question about the limit of forgiveness by first establishing that the question of forgiveness only arises when one is first hurt. If there is no hurt in the first place, there is no need for forgiveness. He explains that ideally, forgiveness should be infinite because one's vulnerability to hurt should be zero. These two are inversely related: the more someone is prone to getting hurt, the more difficult it is for them to forgive. If the hurt remains, one can only pretend to forgive, and the desire for revenge will linger. The true mark of forgiveness is not feeling hurt anymore. Acharya Prashant posits that a state greater than forgiving is to be free from the need to forgive, which he calls true freedom. This freedom comes from a strength not like that of steel, which can be broken, but like that of the sky, which is untouchable and cannot be hurt. To be like the sky is to be free from a fixed identity, thus becoming invulnerable. This state of being "hurt-proof" is liberation, which spirituality helps one achieve. He contrasts this with the common person, who is described as a "bleeding mass of hurt," filled with wounds and bad memories. He clarifies that being invulnerable to hurt does not imply inaction against wrongdoing. Wrongdoers must be stopped, but the motivation should not stem from personal grievance or because one has been hurt. Instead, the action should arise from a place of compassion, recognizing the harm the wrongdoer is causing to others and to themselves. This is the wise person's approach. Finally, he advises making forgiveness unconditional by not nurturing hatred. Holding onto hatred for someone is akin to making them your god, as you are constantly remembering them. He suggests that all accounts should be settled by the end of each day, without carrying the need for retribution into the next. The ideal relationship with the world is one of affection and a desire to do good, but without allowing oneself to be hurt, as being hurt by others allows them to enslave and control you.