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Emotional dependency and loneliness || Acharya Prashant
21.2K views
2 years ago
Dependency
Loneliness
Incompleteness
Ego
Existential Problem
Vedanta
Shri Krishna
Mahavir
Description

Acharya Prashant addresses the question of overcoming emotional dependency and loneliness by first stating that there are not several types of dependencies. He explains that distinctions like material, financial, physical, emotional, or spiritual dependency are superficial. The core issue is simply dependency, which stems from a fundamental sense of incompleteness of the 'I'. We are born feeling that something is not quite right about us, a deep, unconscious belief of imperfection. This sense of incompleteness drives most people to do whatever they do in their lifetimes, such as acquiring knowledge, social certification, relationships, and wealth, all because they are not convinced they are alright. The speaker describes the 'I' tendency as a raging dissatisfaction against itself. This dissatisfaction with one's own being and existence is not caused by a specific event; the event is birth itself. We are born feeling hungry and dissatisfied, which is the human condition. This is evidenced by the fact that a human child requires almost two decades of education and training before they can step out into the world, proving we are born incorrect. This incorrectness is both biological, seen in our physical limitations, and social, through imposed notions of imperfection related to color, ethnicity, or gender. This inherent state of being leads to loneliness and dependency. Loneliness is a cry for something to be added, for company, while dependency is a cry for something to be affixed or glued to us. The shallow way to handle this is through distractions like friends or entertainment. The real way, however, is to realize that as long as we feed our false sense of self, we are condemned to more loneliness and dependency. The solution is to shift from an instinct of addition to one of subtraction and purification. Instead of asking who can be added to one's life, the question becomes who is unnecessarily present. This shift from being a beggar before the world to asking the world to keep away is a position of immense power. This requires discretion to know who should be allowed into the sacred space of one's mind. The speaker concludes by inviting the listener to the company of the great sages and scriptures, like Vedanta, Shri Krishna, and Mahavir, as being with them helps one feel fulfilled and expunges the need for loneliness and dependency.