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Losing temper with your kids? || Acharya Prashant (2019)
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5 years ago
Right Anger
Parenting
Consciousness
Mind
Upbringing
Priorities
Responsibility
Description

Acharya Prashant addresses the issue of anger towards children by differentiating between misplaced anger and what he terms "right anger." He explains that anger itself is not the problem; rather, it is the lack of understanding about what truly warrants it. He uses an analogy of a mother getting angry at her child for bringing the wrong kind of sweet, illustrating how anger is often misdirected. The speaker asserts that we do not need to eliminate anger but must cultivate the right kind of it. The reason anger is often viewed negatively is that people do not know themselves, what they truly want, or what is genuinely worth being angry about. He provides examples of misplaced parental anger, such as being upset over a child's poor grades or a torn t-shirt, instead of focusing on the underlying issues like dishonesty or violence. He emphasizes that if one knows what to be truly angry about, then anger can be auspicious. To be angry about the right things, one must first understand their own mind. This self-knowledge reveals that a child's mind is not fundamentally different from an adult's, and what is essential for an adult's inner well-being is also essential for a child's. This understanding helps a parent discern what to give a child, what to be cautious about, and where to be lenient or strict. Often, parents give tremendous attention to trivial matters, like a child making the house untidy, which then becomes the center of their anger. He advises parents to be easy-going and learn to ignore minor mischief, as children are just being children. However, he strongly advises reserving one's energy and anger for matters that compromise the essential purity of the child's mind. For instance, if a child is exposed to unsuitable content on TV or the internet, or wants to play violent video games, a parent must take a firm stand, refuse the demand, and investigate the source of such attractions. Being a good mother is described as a demanding spiritual practice that requires constant consciousness and alertness to protect the child's mind from harmful influences. One must know what to sanction, what to object to, and what to let pass.