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What Women Should Watch Out For || Acharya Prashant, at St. Xavier's, Mumbai (2022)
14K views
1 year ago
Parent-Child Communication
Emotional Reactivity
Suppression
Ego
Conditioning
Detachment
Wisdom Literature
Insecurity
Description

Acharya Prashant advises a questioner on how to handle disagreements with her parents. He states that she must talk back, but not from an emotional center. He clarifies that engaging in a conversation is not the same as reacting emotionally. The speaker explains that the usual response to being hurt is to react, but one should not do that. He points out that it is difficult to say which is worse: suppressing one's feelings and expressions, or the eventual explosion that results from continued suppression. He describes the latter as leaving only debris, with things shattered and scattered, both externally and within the mind. The speaker observes that in India, there has been a culture of authority from the senior side and silence from the junior side. The direct consequence of this is that the current generation is becoming extremely disrespectful and disregardful, precisely because they were never engaged in conversation but were instead told to just shut up. He emphasizes that one cannot keep a person shut up for eternity. Therefore, he advises young people to learn to engage their parents, seniors, and teachers in conversation. This engagement, he explains, is an art. He reiterates that one should not behave from a reactive, emotional center. If at any moment one feels like bursting out, that is not the right time to speak; one should withdraw. However, one cannot stay withdrawn forever. One must know when it is the right time and place to speak up and respond, at a time and place of one's own choosing. He uses a military analogy, stating that when an enemy attacks you at your weakest point, that is not the time to engage them; you save your response for a better time. The speaker also touches upon the nature of the ego, which remembers hurtful conversations for decades, magnifying them and replaying them. He notes that the mind is a strange thing that remembers all the nonsense, and that the ego operates in this way. The speaker specifically addresses the questioner as a woman, stating that his advice is particularly important for women. He explains that due to physical nature and societal conditioning, women can turn out to be more emotional and reactive, which is a serious handicap in life. He cautions that many women mistake their emotionality for strength, when it is actually an untamed thing arising from the body, chemicals, and hormones. He advises not to suppress emotions, but to understand them, which requires a certain detachment. One must be able to see where their thoughts, emotions, and reactions are coming from. Without this ability to see, despite all liberalism and feminism, life can still be very hard for women. He concludes by saying that the enemy is not just outside but also within, in the form of one's own emotions and tendency to react, which often stems from insecurity.