Understanding Death Rituals: Is it Okay to Forego Them?
Questioner: Hello Acharya Ji, I want to know when someone passes away, is it okay if we don’t do death rituals?
Acharya Prashant: There are the forces at three levels that affect us. At two levels, it is just alright to bypass rituals. One of them, one of those levels, has to be managed, the third one.
You see the body; the person is gone, the existence doesn’t bother; Prakriti (existence/creation) ‘Prakriti’ has no need for rituals and doesn’t bother any. Some sects and groups have one kind of ritual, and obviously, others have other kinds. To existence, it is all the same whether you burn or bury. So, if you say it is alright from a Prakritik perspective or an existential perspective, it is very much alright.
Birth is significant. Life is significant. Death, too, has a certain significance, but rituals, whether at the time of birth or death, mean nothing to Prakriti. The kid is born. You celebrate it; the kid still remains born. You do not celebrate it, that doesn’t mean that the kid will slip back into the womb. Prakriti has done what she had to. There is no space or consideration for any product of human thought there; that’s what rituals are, right? We put these rituals together. They are the product of our thinking.
So, this is the level of Prakriti, and then there is the level of the Truth, where there is neither birth nor death. Even at that level, rituals don’t matter. Nothing has gone away. Nobody has died. What is the point of rituals?
Truth does not care for birth or death. Truth alone is whatsoever seems to come and go. It’s just an apparition. It is not to be tiered for beyond a point to the very basic level of Prakriti. There, rituals are immaterial. Equally, they are immaterial in the dimension of Truth. In between these two is the level of the mind. The prakritik level is the level of the body. The level of Truth is the level of the self, the great Self, the Atman. In between these two is the level of the mind: the mind is social, and the mind is society.
Now, this is where the rituals seem to matter, not that there is any absolute significance but just that man being heavenly influenced by society; if he decides to overrule social dictums, then the rebellion and its consequences have to be managed, that’s all. Prakriti won’t object if there are no rituals, and Truth won’t object if there are no rituals.
But the society and the social mind would definitely raise eyebrows. Even there, the significance is just that proper management of the repercussions has to be there. Otherwise, you could just rise in your individual rebellion and say that you want to defy all the social norms and find that you are unable to bear the backlash from society. One has to be prepared for that.
You don’t follow rituals? Yes, there would be people around you, forces and voices around you that would do whatever they can. If it's in their power, they would want to crack down. If they can’t crack down, they will at least whisper and just make things a little awkward for you. If you can manage that, everything will be alright. The mind has to be managed. Unfortunately, our minds are not free. Our minds are heavily influenced by the society.
So, when society raises eyebrows or allows hues and cries, then the mind might get affected, that you must remember. You must gather strength. You must ask yourself how much others bother you, and when you see that you feel ready to go for all-out defiance, then you should just declare war. And this kind of thing is definitely war. At least, that’s the way society would look at it, and that’s okay.
Obviously, I am not trying to discourage you. I am just saying that this is what is going to happen, and before you step into it, you must have adequate preparation. Existentially and Absolutely, no issues at all. By existence, I mean this prakritik existence, existentially, absolutely. Absolutely meaning at the level of the Truth, Self, Atman. No problems at all. Nobody’s going to bother. There is nobody to bother. But mentally, yes, the whole affair has to be tactfully managed. There has to be resolve within and tact outside, and then it’s alright.
To those who cannot manage it. Those who still don’t have taste or blows, those who still can’t take it on the chin, to them, I say don’t get into needless rebellions. There are bigger battles to fight. Right? But it’s not universal and absolute advice. If you feel you are game, if you feel your time has come, I would never discourage you from rising. It is an individual decision, and the consequences have to be taken as an individual decision, Right? So, you need to check yourself. You find yourself ready to go; go for it.
