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How to live as Brahm, while being in worldly relations? || Acharya Prashant, on Ribhu Gita (2018)
Author Acharya Prashant
Acharya Prashant
11 min
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“The continued repetition of ‘I am’ Self-Brahman’ Constitutes the sole mantra-japa Leading to Mukti (Liberation).

All other mantra-japas connected with diverse gods Should be firmly eschewed, As they aim at mundane objectives Other than the Self.

All other mantra-japas always entangle one inextricably In the bondage of worldly enjoyments.”

~ Ribhu Gita, Chapter 6, Verse 37

Questioner (Q): All differences we perceive and all concepts are only thought forms, which is the cause of our sorrow. To be free, we need to abide by the firm conviction of ‘I am Brahm-Self’. This is the only sadhana and meditation prescribed by Ribhu.

I am in family and relationships. I have my daily routines. Ribhu has mentioned in one verse about the practice of Faith. Kindly tell me with day-to-day simple examples of incidents on how a person who dwells in the Bhāvanā of ‘I am Brahm-Self’ will respond.

Kindly tell me what is the best sadhana and meditation I can do so that my illusions will dissolve and I establish in my true nature.

Acharya Prashant (AP): Very good question and very useful to all the listeners. The questioner is saying that she's a householder. She is in relationship, she has a family. She is a worldly woman with a sincere heart. She is asking, how to remain in sadhana and how to practice meditation? Because what Ribhu is saying is that the only meditation is ‘I am Brahm-Self’.

‘I am Brahm-Self’ means I'm not limited. I am not in need because whatsoever is limited would always be in need. If it is limited, it can be enhanced, increased, it can be added to. If you are the ‘Brahm-Self’, then you are not someone who can be enhanced or diminished. Go into the implications of this.

If you are the ‘Brahm-Self’, then you don't have to worry about your well-being. Neither can you be harmed nor can you be benefited, which means that in your relationships and in your day-to-day dealings, you will not act as if your own interests are at stake. That is the implication of living as the ‘Brahm-Self’ in the middle of the world.

You are asking, how to be the ‘Brahm-Self’ and still be a worldly woman who has her family, her relationships and her house to take care of. We don't take care of our family or relationships. Ordinarily, we just keep taking care of ourselves. We may act as if we are very worried about our husband or our son. But are we ever worried about anybody other than ourselves? That is because you do not abide as ‘Brahm’. You abide as someone very limited and hence someone very vulnerable. You never take care of your daughter or your son. You only have your own personal and petty interests in your mind and to make matters worse, you act as if you are talking of others’ welfare. The one who will abide as ‘Brahm-Self’ will only take care of the genuine interests of the other. She will not act to fulfill her own little insecurities.

A mother who abides as Brahm will be really a divine mother, now the daughter will truly prosper. And a father who does not abide as the ‘Brahm-Self’ will be a very dangerous father because he will ask his son to do things that the father likes, not things that are really good for the son.

Do you now see why there is so much conflict in the world, and why relationships are a hell? Because we are related to the other as incomplete people, not as Brahm . We go to the other to latch on to the other. We go to the other to be dependent on the other, or to make the other dependent on ourselves. We go to the other so that some of our expectations can be fulfilled.

If you abide in the ‘Brahm-Self’, can you ever use the other to fulfill your personal desires? Please tell me, if you abide as Brahm, would you ever use your husband or your father, or your daughter, or your son to fulfill your personal expectations? No, you will not do that. Then you will genuinely ask, “What is really in the interest of the other person? What is really in my wife's or husband's or son's interest?” and you will do only that.

And you know what is the only welfare that you can bring to the ones related to you? Bring them unconditional freedom. That is the only duty of a husband, wife, father, or mother, or a friend or a neighbour or anybody. That is the only way you can be truly related to the other — bring freedom to the other, bring joy to the other and that is also the only definition of Love. When you are concerned not about yourself but about the welfare of the other, only then you can say that you Love, otherwise, you are just a parasite; otherwise, you are just trying to extract your pound of flesh.

Brahm does not extract any flesh from anybody. Brahm does not say, “I gave you birth, so now you do what I'm asking you to do.” Brahm says, “To really give birth is to give freedom and if I cannot give you freedom, then I'm very dangerous for you.” That is why abiding as Brahm is even more necessary in a family.

Someone who is living in isolation, if at all he can live in isolation, is at least not dangerous for many people. Why? Because he is in isolation. But if you are in a family, then you are related to ten people and those ten people include many vulnerable ones also. A little kid is there, an old parent is there, a diseased neighbour is there or someone who is emotionally attached to you is there and you are not abiding as Brahm , so who are you? Someone who is afraid and someone who must first take care of his own insecurities and interests. So, what will you do then? What will you do to these ten people? How will you use them? If you are internally insecure and there are ten people around you, what will you do with them? You will just use them for your own selfish interests. And that is what ninety-nine per cent of parents do and husbands do, and people do and wives do, because they are not complete within themselves. And this completeness is called the Brahm-Bhāv . Because they do not abide as Brahm, so they just use anybody they come upon or come across to fulfill their internal hollow.

Get a husband so that you can be exploited, get a wife so that she can be consumed. Have sons, so that later on you can pile upon them. Have daughters, so that later on you can tell them that “You get married as per our choice and you live a life of our decision.” You know who does all these things? Such things are done only by those who have not lived spiritual lives. People who are averse to spirituality will be very exploitative, violent, and dangerous for everybody including themselves.

Unless a wife lives as the ‘Brahm-Self’, the husband's life will be hellish. Unless the father lives as the ‘Brahm-Self’, he will keep torturing the son. Look at your lives honestly and ask yourself, “Do you really want other’s welfare? Or is it just that whenever you are talking of the other's welfare, you are only looking to extend your own desires through the other?” ‘The other’ is just a medium. And what are your own desires? Are they pure desires? Are the desires for liberation? No, your own desires are very corrupted desires and now you want to load your son with the same desires. Do you call this Love? Are you a loving parent? Are you a loving husband? Are you a loving uncle? No! But you still have the mouth and the balls to keep talking and not only keep talking but keep claiming loudly that my son is not listening to me or my husband is not listening to me.

Why should they listen to you? To get exploited? To become a victim of your own securities? Are you really giving them sagely advice? And if you are giving them sagely advice, why would they not listen? And if they still do not listen in spite of your advice being sagely, then leave them, maybe their time has not arrived. One day, they will return to you.

Living as ‘Brahm-Self’ does not mean that you just drop the world, renounce everything, recede to a corner and keep chanting. Drop all those images. Living as ‘Brahm-Self’ means living with fullness in this world that seeks to make you feel little, mean, petty and incomplete all the time. Society, Prakṛti , religion, education, the bombardment of the media — they all can potentially make you feel so small. Living as Brahm means living in the middle of all that bombardment and yet retaining one’s inherent fullness.

You cannot make me feel little, you cannot make me feel complexed. I'm neither inferior nor superior. You cannot turn me neurotic. You cannot pass on your own insecurities to me. You cannot make me inherit your rotten life. That is what it means to live as Brahm . I will not be belittled and because I'm not belittled, now, I am so much and so big that I will give. The one who lives as Brahm , gives abundantly and gives unconditionally. What else will you do when you have so much? You can only distribute and distribute without expectations.

One mark of the person who is petty and mean and not spiritual is that he keeps expecting. “Please do this, please do that.” He feels that the entire world is there just to fulfill his expectations. Of course, he has no handle, no control over the entire world. So, he wants to control those who are dependent on him. “You are my wife, you do what I say. You are my daughter, you must follow my instructions. You are my son, you must do my bidding.”

When you abide as the ‘Brahm-Self’, you have no expectations left for yourself because you are already supreme, already at the peak. Now, you can only give. Now, even if you have expectations, those expectations are for the other’s welfare, not your own. You say, “I have arrived, I have retired, I am peaceful, I am complete, my story has ended. If I am alive now, my only objective is that your story too must end. I'm not breathing for my personal pleasure, now I am breathing so that your breath does not go to waste.”

If you want to be a good wife, be a ‘Brahm-wife’. If you want to be a good lover, be a ‘Brahm-lover’. If you want to be a good husband, be a ‘Brahm-husband’. ‘Brahm-husband’ is called a B-husband, no more hubby, call him B-hubby. Only then will there be peace in the family. If he is hubby, then there would only be quarrels, he must be B-hubby — now peace. No more lover, B-lover. And baby should be B-baby — ‘Brahm-baby’. Now, it's all right, otherwise, baby is very dangerous.

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