Acharya Prashant (AP): Jayant has initiated, and he is saying that he used to lead a mechanical life that starts the story, and then he got into spirituality, now he wants to be in love always but that does not always seem possible. Right?
Love is neither molecular nor even a wave. So, to attribute properties to it and turn it into a target may not be very wise. What we call as love is usually the image of love that we carry.
Let’s conduct a small experiment upon ourselves. The moment you say, love, the moment you utter the word love does not an image pop up in your mind? Love for us is images. Let’s solidify our experiment a little more. I am asking him to give us a facial expression, only he knows what would be that expression. But you guess whether or not that is love. Right?
(AP whispers something in listener’s ears and he gives facial expressions)
Is this love?
(Audience shakes head in denial)
Now how do you know that this is not love? How do you know this is not love?
Part 2 of the same experiment.
(AP whispers something in the listener's ears again and he gives facial expressions)
Is this love or closer to love?
(Audience shakes head in approval)
How do you know that this is love? What does this prove?
Questioner (Q): Image
AP: Love for us is an image. And if love for us is an image. When we want to cultivate love we actually just want to cultivate that image. Now that’s not very wise or beautiful. Is it? To just have an image. And the entire world knows and unfortunately agrees about these images of love. So, if he wants to tell you or you or you (addressing different listeners in the audience) that he loves you. What is it that he has to do? He very well knows that love for you and you is just an...
Q: Image
AP: So, it’s very easy for him to profess, declare, demonstrate his love. He has to do something very ordinary and what is it?
Q: Image
AP: Act in a way that concurs with the commonly accepted image of love. And that’s all. Love need not be there. Only the expression of love be there. That expression could be facial or he could do something that is commonly accepted as love. For example, he might bring you flowers. Or he might open the car gate for you, or he might come and tell you 'You know, you are the dearest person I have, ' and you will be easily led into believing that here is a person who loves. Now that’s a problem, that’s a big big problem. Because that means that we will never have anything to do with the real thing and we would forever just be circulating in the small loop of images, concepts. That’s no fun at all. Is it?
So, what is love? Before we ask what is love, we will have to really ask what is love for whom? Is this pillow asking what is love? Is it asking? Will it ever ask? It won’t. Will this ever ask what is love? It won’t. We human beings, we ask what is Love. So, what is love for a human being? And so important to add that clarification or declaration of what is love for human beings. So now we are asking what is love for human beings, we will have to ask who is a human being. Before we can find out what is love for a human being. We will have to firstly know who is a human being and again we still don’t want to get into metaphysics or mysticism. For me the answer of the question who am I is very-very simple: You are as you act. You are how you are currently living; you are the identity you are proceeding from. Simple.
Now, who are you? And if you can figure that out you will also know why you need love and why he is asking this question. Go back to his question; he is saying he wants to be in love always. Why must this desire be there at all? Why must the human being want to be in love and we are saying if we can understand who the human being is, we will know why the human being wants love.
What does love give you? Why do you want love? Anybody here who wants to be hated? Anybody here who enjoys hating? Anybody here who loves when he is cursed or abused? Anybody here who even enjoys indifference? Anybody? Nobody. So, there is something common about us human beings, right? We want love. What is that common denominator that connects us all? Why complicate things? Simply say a human being is a love-thirsty being. That’s the definition. Because it is obvious, we all want love. Love gives us certain security. Love brings to us a certain completeness. Love gives to us a certain peace. Is that not what your experience is? Without love there is loneliness. Without love there is insecurity. Without love, you feel as if there is a hollow in the heart. So, who is the human being then?
We wanted to know why we want to be in love but we have arrived at some kind of definition of the human being, a definition of the human mind. Who is the human being then? The human being then is the one who is not in peace and is therefore always wanting peace. Who is the human being? The one who is never at rest and is therefore always wanting rest. Man is a restlessness. I said very long back. That restlessness demands love and when you get that then you come to a final rest and that final rest is the reason why we are always moving. We are always moving because we want to arrive at the final destination.
So, who is man? A perpetual thirst, a longing, a search, a seeking, a movement, a wandering, a desire seeking its end. Isn’t that who we are? We are a desire that seeks its own end and at the end of the desire is the fulfillment of the desire. Are you getting it? So, when you say that you want to always be in love that is not something that you need to want. You are anyway always clamoring for fulfillment. Are you not? Look again. Let’s conduct an experiment.
Why do you go to buy a bottle of water?
Q: To quench the thirst.
AP: To quench your thirst. Who is he? The one who is anyway wanting to quench himself. Even if he is not in the spiritual path. And it’s a very ordinary act. A very mundane daily act. You are looking for some water. Why do you want that water? Because you want to quench yourself. It doesn’t matter whether you are in a temple or a grocery shop. You are attempting the same thing. What is the attempt? To satisfy oneself. Why do you go to meet someone? Because you think that the meeting will bring contentment to you. Or at least the meeting will ensure that contentment. It is not taken away from you. Neither of these. Why do you buy new clothes? Why do you buy a new car? Why do you change your job? Why do you buy a new house? Why do you get into a relationship? Why do you go travel in sightseeing? Because you are anyway always seeking to fulfill yourself. Aren’t you? So, you are anyway always in love. Because every act is pointing in its own way towards fulfillment. What is love? To move to that which will fulfill you. Can you settle on this? To love is to be pulled towards, to be attracted towards that which you think will fulfill you. That is love. Is it not?
The man is pulled towards the woman or the woman is pulled towards the man. What is the hope? That one would gain fulfillment. So that is love. To love is to move towards that which you hope would fulfill you and fulfillment is also what you seek when you buy a bottle of water, or new cloth, or a new car, or get a new job, or whatever.
So, man’s mind in its multifarious activities is actually targeting just one thing. What is it always targeting moment to moment? 'Fulfilment '. And that urge of the human mind is Love. Man is always targeting fulfillment and this urge is the call of love. Right? So, we are lovers. We are lovers because we are born suffering and if you are born suffering you are bound to have a great attraction towards health and that is called love.
The deceased man loves health greatly and man’s mind is fundamentally neurosis. We are in our own estimation, insecure, petty, incomplete, threatened. Death is staring at us. Everything scares us. The world is a hostile place, the weather, the elements none of them are too friendly. Man is suffering and he wants relief and that is love. So, we are anyway always, always lovers. That is the first thing to be understood.
So, the first part of your claim that you are not always in love is not quite well placed. You are always in love always, even when you are committing the most obnoxious of acts. You are in the hope of fulfillment. Why does one steal? Why does the thief commit theft? Because he hopes the goods obtained would fulfill him. So, everybody in his own personal way is seeking fulfillment and that is love. If you are young you may seek fulfillment in somebody's body, if you are middle-aged you may seek fulfillment in wealth and prestige, if you are old you may seek fulfillment in security and property but mind is anyway always seeking fulfillment in his personal way according to his place, time, condition and all these things. Getting it?
So, the matter appears like closing here. We are anyway lovers and always so. So why discuss further? Not quite. The matter doesn’t close here, the matter in fact begins here. Now we can talk. All this was just the background to the real thing.
You see yes, we want fulfillment. That’s what our eyes are always looking for. Where is that which can fulfill me? It is as if man is born to seek fulfillment. We are always in hope. Right till our last breath. Where is that which will fulfill me? But as we said we seek fulfillment in our personal ways. Ah! That’s a bit let down. We do not seek fulfillment absolute; we seek fulfillment as we define it. Now the element of the personal comes in a big way. We do not seek that which will really fulfill us. We seek that which we think will fulfill us and that’s a huge difference. Appreciate that difference, please. Like a little kid. He is thirsty and he thinks that a bottle of any random fluid, liquid kept on the floor would quench his thirst, and he goes and sips a little. Obviously, when he sips a little, he realizes that this is not what he is looking for, and what he has just sipped in might even hurt him. But having had that experience he doesn’t stop; he says if not this then somewhere else is that which will fulfill me. When he goes to another room, finds another something that he thinks would fulfill him. And has another experience and this experience falls equally short and with another disappointment he goes on to try something else, keeps trying all these things. When nothing else works he starts sucking his own thumb, and when he is tired with the thumb of the hand then he tries his ingenuity and uses the toe.
So, the thumb, then the toe all these continue till the mother says, 'Too much nonsense is happening and this bugger is now going to seriously hurt himself. And I have to now show up! ' Mother either shows up on her own or the kid gets so fed up with his experimentation that he starts wailing, and then the mother says, 'Fine I am coming, and before I come you must do what you want to do. Otherwise, you will not accept what I give you. Maybe boiled water is good for you. You were feverish till two days back and you must have water that is a little warm but you do not like warm water, and if I just give warm water to you, you throw it away. So, it is important that first, you struggle a little. And then when I’ll give you warm water you will gladly take it. ' Is that not so? Even kids think of themselves as somebody. We are born like that. It’s not just about the society that conditions us. We are born like that. The kid wants to have reasonably cold water and that cold water gave him a cold so the doctor has suggested warm water. The kid would have no warm water. Bring warm water to him, dismisses it. So, he must try and experiment with it. Get hurt a little, and the mother is watching. The kid is demonstrating the usual worldly process of love. What the kid is demonstrating is how even adults move through the maze of love. You love this, you love this, you love this… and you keep getting hurt and you keep getting disappointed but you never lose your hope and you are sure that your next marriage will be greatly successful. Or you would find fulfillment in the next job, or in the next ideology, or in spirituality. Even spirituality is just ideology to most people.
So, you could have been this, that, Marxist and capitalist and then you turn a Spiritualist. The kid is trying a lot of things including the Gods, the God bottle, 'Maybe this would quench me. ' He is prepared to try the God bottle but not call the mother. Because as long as you are trying something there is perverse satisfaction, 'I am trying something. If I will gain fulfillment it would be through my personal route. ' That raises a doubt. Do we really want fulfillment or do we want aggrandization of the person? It's like saying I made I thirsty but at least I have the satisfaction that I died thirsty trying on my own and that’s a big satisfaction. Common experience proves that.
People say, 'leave me alone. I’ll try, get hit, get hurt but at least I will know that I have my personal freedom. ' They say not so? 'My personal freedom is bigger than the absolute truth. '
Man, unfortunately, has been blessed with this personal freedom. Man is a creature who has options. You always have a choice. That choice is available neither to material nor to plants not even to animals. Man has that choice. A choice is to either seek fulfillment in your own limited, personal way or simply go to fulfillment itself. A lover you always are. The question is what is the quality of your love and what is at the center of your love.
At the center of your love could be fulfillment and then you are always driven towards nothing but pure fulfillment. You say, 'Everything else can be negotiated, compromised. All I want is fulfillment. In the process of getting fulfillment if the personal self, the ‘I’ is battered, bruised, destroyed so be it. I don’t bother. ' And there are other lovers who are unfortunately in great abundance who keep themselves at the center of their love. They want fulfillment but they want fulfillment on their personal terms and conditions. it’s not that as if they don’t want fulfillment.
So, it’s a slight difference. The saint—why call him the saint, that too conjures a lot of images. Doesn’t it? Especially in these times. Let’s simply say the wise man, the wise person. We are not referring to a specific gender. The wise man is the one who keeps fulfillment at the center—he says, 'Only fulfillment is important, how it comes, what price it extracts, what is the route to be taken. None of that matters. Even if my entire life is to be paid as a price, I will prepare to do that. '
Even if you sip something of this (sips from a glass of water) you don’t dissolve in the water. Do you? The water serves you; you don't serve the water. Are you getting it? Spiritually it is not like this. In spiritual fulfillment, having had fulfillment you do not remain. If this is fulfillment you don’t use it. It doesn’t serve you. Instead, you get dissolved in it. That’s why most people are afraid of fulfillment. That’s why most people say I will take fulfillment but first of all, you assure me that I will not get dissolved in the glass or in the water. So, what do we then have? We then have a greatly diluted and even corrupted version of personal fulfillment.
The ego also loves contentment but the ego loves itself more. Self-preservation is more important to the ego. But if it preserves itself, all it preserves is an entity that is always thirsty. So, the ego is always in a quandary. It wants to preserve itself. But if it preserves itself who has been preserved? The thirst has been preserved. So having preserved itself it goes to fulfillment. It says, 'You know I am thirsty. ' Fulfillment says, 'Your thirst can be quenched. But if your thirst is quenched then you will be dissolved in the water that quenches the thirst. ' So, ego says, 'No-no that is too big a price to pay, ' and it goes back. But it goes back and starts a fringe from an even greater thirst. So, it comes back and says, 'You know, I am suffering from a great thirst. Can I have a little bit of the magical water? ' The magical water responds, 'You can have me but if you drink me you will be dissolved in me. ' So, the ego says, 'No-no that is too big a price to pay. '
Ego again goes back and the thirst is now becoming a burning experience. It rushes back. It says, 'You know, I want something, ' and the condition remains the same. 'You can have me but if you have me only, I will remain, you will get dissolved. ' The ego says, 'No-no. '
Now, something very strange happens. And an entity who is said both to exist and not exist pops up from somewhere. That entity has been variously given both masculine and feminine names. That entity is watching the whole game. The ego wants to be quenched but does not have the guts to drink the magic water. It can neither drink the magic water nor can it totally discard it. So, it just keeps vacillating to and fro, to and fro.
So that new entity says, 'It’s a good opportunity. ' The next time the ego is returning disappointed from the magical water. This entity waves to the ego, calls it 'Come, come to me. You want to be quenched. I have water. Take this water. ' The ego says, 'But I want that magical water that will quench... ' 'No-no! This water is the same. You take it. This will quench you. ' The ego looks at that glass. And there is a big label there. What does the label say? 'The magical water, ‘the divine water’. ' So, all the proofs are there and the ego says, 'Fine I want to have it. ' That entity says, 'Yes you can have it. But you know you will have to act as per my directions. ' The ego says, 'I am prepared to accept any condition. Just don’t ask me to disappear or dissolve. ' This new entity says, 'No that I won’t ask. You just act as per my instructions. ' The ego says, 'That is acceptable. ' Because this seems a less harsh condition compared to the condition that the previous one was imposed upon me. The ego accepts that. And then that’s how the ego lives. Accepting that fake water, that spurious good not getting quite satisfied but gaining a resemblance of satisfaction.
And that resemblance of satisfaction is enough for one to vile away his or her 60 years, 80 years. One does not anyway have too long to live. You just have to pass a length of time. And you can pass that length of time easily deceiving yourself. The ego now totally forgets the real water and keeps turning to that entity again and again. Accepting fake water and that fake water does give a little bit of satisfaction for a while. That little bit of satisfaction for a while is called happiness. So, a little bit of happiness and the ego becomes a slave to the entity who is selling that happiness and all that you have to vile away some 60, 80 years that happens easily. And this birth is gone. The body dies. Full stop. We said that entity has both a masculine and feminine name. What would be those names?
The feminine name is Maya, the masculine name is Saturn. That’s how we seek fulfillment at the wrong place. Lovers we always are but we don’t always love the right one. Because loving the right one demands a high price. One must be prepared to pay that price. To love the high one, you must be prepared to pay a high price. Most of us are too stingy to pay a high price so we keep paying low prices and keep getting in low love. Lovers, we always are but what is the quality of love? Is it a high love or is it a low love? Where are you seeking fulfillment, even that drunkard is seeking fulfillment in the liquor. Go to him, and he says, 'When I drink this then I get peace for a while, ' or that common cheap thing called happiness. 'I drink this and I feel happy at least for an hour. '
So, Lover, you are but what do you love? You tell me please. Do you love the real one or have you fallen in love with fake and spurious goods and the world abounds with them? The world is full of fake stuff, fake but attractive, fake but branded, fake but appealing. What have you started loving? Where did you learn to love all that? Why don’t you love the one who is lovable, really lovable, just because there is one condition attached and the condition is your dissolution? Are you so fond of yourself that you don’t want to dissolve? Seriously?
So, Jayant asks me, 'Why don’t I always remain in Love? ' I am saying you do remain in love always but what is it that you are always loving? There is not one moment when you are not desirous. And if you are desirous you surely are in love. But what is it that you are desiring? Tell me? Look at your 24 hours. Even in dreams, you desire and if you are desiring then you are loving. But what is it that you are loving? Are you loving fulfillment itself or are you loving some fake product?
We all are born lovers. Every breath is love. But unfortunately, not every breath is pure love. Even the so-called hard-end criminals are nothing but lovers even when they are killing, looting, deceiving, raping. It is their own perverted personal form of love. Because through these base acts they think that they will get fulfillment, so even those criminals are lovers. Lovers we always are. But tell me what is the quality of your love? What have you fallen in love with? The market very well knows that we are lovers. Doesn’t it? And that’s why it's so easy to pull us in like the magnet knows how to pull in little iron filings.
Watch your desires. What is that you are wanting. I didn’t say shun your desires or drop your desires. I just asked you to watch your desires. Does the word pure fulfillment occur in the sea of your desires? Even a drop of that? We all carry within us a big sea of desires. Don’t we? In that big sea is there even a drop saying pure fulfillment? We desire this, this, this, this, this. If it exists on the earth or in the solar system or in this galaxy or anywhere in this universe or even in the mental realm it is fit to be an object of desire. We can desire anything and everything. But do we ever desire peace absolute? Do you? You are always a lover. But what are you falling in love with? We fall in love with just anything. Especially if it's on sale 30%. 30% sale and we become quick lovers. Don’t we? Even the market knows that we fall in love with cheapness more easily. If you fall in love with goods that are on sale. You are only demonstrating that you love cheapness and God is not cheap. Truth is not cheap. It is extremely expensive. We have to give away everything that we have. We want to hold that, preserve that. Self-preservation is the only objective of the ego. It is so afraid it only wants to survive. Somehow wants to survive. And Truth is saying you can have whatever you want but you must give all that you have. Is that an offer or a sentence? You can have all that you want but you’ll have to give all that you have. If you want to understand whether that is a great offer, made in compassion or whether it is a cheap trap set by a cunning businessman then pay attention to this analogy.
So, there is the kid. Which kid? Oh! that’s an old kid. He is not going to improve very quickly. So, he is going to provide us with stories after stories. So that kid, having tried everything at home now decides to shop. The home is exhausted. He can’t find what he wants to find in the home. And the mother is watching. Mother is saying, 'Let it be. He is quite a stubborn fellow. He needs to stick his neck out a little. ' So, he goes shopping and what does he have? In coins, he has some 35 rupees that he has gathered when the mother would give some coin to him. So, two rupees, 5 rupees, 10 rupees. The mother used to give coins and over a period of a week or a month, the little chap has gathered 35 rupees. All in coins and now all of 2 and a half feet he walks to the megastore. The big mart. He goes to the shopkeeper and he points at the most expensive pack of chocolates. And this fellow in his own estimation has gathered a bit of treasure by now. Some 8, 10 coins are there and they all value a huge sum of 35 rupees. 'Rs 35! I have so much! ' And he has gone to the big mart. All puffed up. 'Maybe I will buy the entire thing ', and he goes to the shopkeeper and he says, 'You know, that pack of chocolates. I want that. ' The shopkeeper looks at this one. He is practically nude. And how big is he? (gesturing littleness from his hand) This big is he. And he is standing and saying 'I want that. ' And the shopkeeper looks at him and he sees a genuine desire to get chocolates. The shopkeeper thinks, 'Why don’t I ask him to get lost? All that he is carrying is a fistful of coins. ' And how much is that?
Q: 35 rupees
AP: 35 rupees and that pack of chocolate costs rupees 1000. And not only is this little chap carrying only 35. He thinks this 35 is much more than enough. He thinks it’s a treasure. It’s a big-big sum. That’s how the ego operates. It has not much but it thinks that it has everything. In his estimation, everybody is a superstar. Is he not? In his own eyes, everybody is the center of the universe. Is that not true? So, a little kid has only rupees 35 but he thinks he is the lord of the two worlds. So, he is standing in front of the shopkeeper and negotiating. He is saying, 'You know, I have these. For these much how many packs can you give me? ' Because in his own eyes - because you see he is a little chap. How big is he? Two and a half (feet) - In his own eyes, this much is big. That's the thing with the ego. Because the ego is little so every little thing is big for the ego. Understand this. Because the ego is such a little thing. So, every little thing is big for the ego. Because the ego is little and at the same time big in its own perception. 'I am big. I am puffed up. ' Is that what you not call as pride, arrogance, conceit or vanity, or whatever? 'Ahhhh! I am somebody. ' Because the little chap is looking at the shopkeeper. 'I am somebody. ' The shopkeeper says, 'Ideally from the business point of view I must just shake him away, he is wasting my time. ' But he looks into the kid’s eyes and he sees desire and then his heart melts and then something called compassion happens. And he says, 'Fine chap! I can give you that chocolate but you will have to give me everything that you have. ' Tell me what does the kid say? The kid says. 'You are a cunning man who is trying to loot me. You are robbing me of everything that I have. You are such a cunning man. ' And the shopkeeper says, 'I might be a cunning man. Maybe you are right but right now I am making you an offer. Why don’t you think over it? I will give you that chocolate but you will have to give me everything that you have. ' The little fellow says, 'No way! What I have is worth a 1000 chocolates. How can I give you my precious 35 rupees? I can’t. ' The shopkeeper repeats the offer. The little fellow once again spurns the offer, hurls an abuse or two at the shopkeeper. Goes out of the shop and while going out kicks the door of the shop with contempt. 'Two hoots to you! Who are you? And you are thinking that you could easily rob me. He wanted all that I have! '
So, the shopkeeper assistant is watching and he says— after the kid is gone— 'If you wanted to give the chocolate to him. Why couldn’t you straight away give it to him free of cost? You are anyway practically giving to him free of cost. It’s a pack that is priced 1000 rupees and you were adamant on extracting rupees 35 for it. Why ask for even 35 rupees? If you were giving it away just give it away for free. Why even ask for 35? If you were making such a generous offer just give it to him to take it away. It’s free. ' The shopkeeper turns to the assistant and says something and what does he say? 'Yes! I was giving it to him for free but before I give it away for free. I need to check his eligibility. I asked for his 35 rupees not because I needed those 35 rupees. I just wanted to ascertain that his desire for the chocolate is immensely greater than his desire for his 35 rupees. By going away he has shown that he did not really want the chocolates. I didn’t want his 35 rupees. I just wanted to test his genuine love. He didn’t have that love and so I turned him away. '
And that’s exactly what truth demands of us. Truth says give me everything that you have and I will give you something. Now what the Truth offers to us is of infinite value. It is immensely precious and that which we are asked to give up is of no value at all. In fact, it is just a burden. But you must give it up not because you are having a business deal. Not because it is a part of the bargain but because you need to demonstrate your eligibility. Most of us do not love fulfillment enough. The kid did not love the chocolates enough.
We are perpetual lovers but we love our 35 rupees too much. It is not as if we do not love. We do love. But what do we love? Rupees 35 but not the pack of chocolate. Fulfillment is being offered; the question is not why fulfillment eludes you. Fulfillment is being offered. The question is, are you prepared to take fulfillment? Are you prepared to pay the price? Are you ready?
But we never answer the question. Am I ready? Instead, we keep asking: where is God? Next time you feel like asking where is Truth or God. Stop and ask yourself. Am I ready? Watch your desires. See what you value more. See how you are prioritizing things in your life. See what has become more important to you and what has faded into the background.
How can something come to you if you do not want it? How will you ever accomplish what you have ever not prioritized? Where is Truth on your to-do list? Now don’t start literally doing that, please. That is another problem. People start putting Truth on their to-dos. But you get the pointer. Right?
Love can be the greatest bliss instead for the vast majority of people love is the greatest disappointment. It is because we love from the wrong center and therefore love the wrong objects. We love from the center of self-preservation even self-enhancement. And when you love from the center of self-preservation and self-enhancement rest assured you will always love the wrong entity. All you will get is heartbreak.
The man loves a woman because in front of the woman he feels more like a man. So, you are choosing your object of love so that you become more of what you already are. Right? The man gets the woman and he feels more like a man. Is this dissolution or enhancement? Enhancement. No person can tolerate a spouse who shows the right way, who teaches, who brings light in life. Because light does not enhance darkness. And we want someone who enhances us.
With drunkards, we fall in love. With the new brand of liquor and that would only enhance him. That would only add another layer to his personality or would the drunkard fall in love with the orange juice? Difficult. And that is also why we use the word love so very casually. Don’t we?
That which satisfies and enhances the ego is called as lovely bias. There is no sacredness in the way we use the word love because our love is not directed towards the scared.
So, lovers… Just love rightly. Lovers we already are. Nobody needs to be taught love. People just need to be sensitized to the quality of their love. People just need to be asked this question. 'What are you desiring? What have you fallen in love with? ' That’s all.
It’s great to be attracted. It’s imperative to be attracted because man is born unfulfilled. So, it is very necessary that you will move towards something. Just be careful about the direction and the purpose of your movement. That’s all!
I am not saying don’t get attracted, don’t love, do get attracted and love deeply but please see what is that you are loving and what for?
Be a great lover, not a petty one. And how does one be a great lover? By loving greatness. Love greatness, love immensity. Don’t be the one for smallness, limits, boundaries, constraints, pettiness. Have no attraction towards them. They won’t give what you want.